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Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me

*If you're reading this post before you've read the previous post, stop and go back before reading this one so you can fully appreciate God's great work. :)

4 days before I prayed out in faith that God would provide for me someone to share my life with, I met Benjamin Gibson in Zambia, Africa half way around the world. 4 days after I spoke out my faith in God to provide as He saw was best, Ben walked me to my villa our last night in Zambia and asked me to have dinner with him when we returned to the States. Neither of us ever in our wildest dreams expected to meet someone while on our mission trip (let alone someone who just lived 45 minutes away!). I was there to focus on sharing God's love with my boys and the orphans in Zambia, while Ben was there to focus on his photography as he took pictures of the orphans and community for the organization that we traveled with. What a humbling blessing it has been to grow with Ben in our walks with God the past few months and to know that our being together is so much bigger than just us. Our lives are committed to bringing glory to God and we feel that He is accomplishing that by joining our lives together. My hope is that by sharing God's faithfulness in this relationship that it will encourage others and bring glory to our God as I share His extreme faithfulness in my life, even when I was lacking in faith.

Ben and I have been seeking a church home in Dallas where we can begin to grow & serve together. While sitting in service yesterday, we sang a chorus that boasted of God being our strong tower and defender. God sweetly reminded me that even though life is rapidly changing at the moment, He is still my Best Friend. He is still my familiar stronghold, the One that's known and loved me all my life (despite myself), and that He always has and will always be my King, First Love, Best Friend, Provider, Protector, Comforter and Defender. It brings joy to my heart to think of all my God and I have been through together, all we will go through and to know that He is my faithful, never-changing Constant in a world so full of changes. To God be the glory, GREAT things He has done.

"This God— His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." ~Psalm 18:30

Speaking Out in Faith

In the months leading up to traveling to Zambia, Satan had found a way to keep me depressed and in doubt of God's work in my life. Slowly but surely, what started out as a little discouragement at being single and unhappy with several situations in life grew into full on doubt that God was not going to provide a husband in my life.

I journaled on June 18, 3 days before I would leave for Zambia, that I was so depressed I didn't even want to go anymore. And that's when something snapped inside of me for the good - NOT want to go to Zambia and proclaim my Father's joy to the orphans? That wasn't ME talking, that was the enemy and I knew it all too well. That night, I repented of my lack of faith, my pride and self-pity and gave over all my desires to my Father. I asked him to strip away anything fleshly and selfish within me and allow me to join Him in what He was doing. I prayed that God would rid me of distractions and that I would not worry about being accepted by anyone but God Himself. I gave over my singleness to God and committed to be faithful to Him even if a life of singleness was what He had planned for me. I resolved myself to singleness that night and to a life married to my First Love and bringing glory to Him, and it was well with my soul.

The first day at camp, we were to teach the kids 3 things they needed to practice during the week to fight off Satan's lies as they learned truth.
1. Listen to the Word
2. Believe what the Word says
3. Speak out what you believe in faith
I was happy to teach my kids these 3 important tools for the spiritual battle they would face when the Holy Spirit pressed on me... Speak out YOUR faith. It was the first day of camp that as my boys were speaking out their faith in God that I finally spoke out loud my faith: God, you will provide a husband & children to share this life with. You will not only provide a husband, but a teammate that will bring You more glory by sharing his life with me than we ever could individually on our own. God restored my faith, healed my heart and set me FREE... and did not let my prayers or statement of faith in Him go unanswered.... :)

"If we are faithless,He remains faithful— for He cannot deny himself." ~2 Timothy 2:13

Zambia Journal Entry 6-27-11, Sunday

Sunday:
Church today was amazing. We went to the Boma at Mulungushi for worship and just as last year, there was lots of singing led by the Zambian worship team and dancing as they would pull people up front and into the isles to dance and sing. Pastor Teddy presented the sermon from Matthew 6:33, our verse for Camp this week. His question and method was simple, but profound… “Who is your King?” Father, you have convicted my heart before I left America and while in Zambia that my King is way too often myself. I am my own idol. I live for myself, not you. I rule my Kingdom. Greer pointed out that there are only 2 Kingdoms: Yours, and Satans. However Satan will deceive me into thinking that there is a third Kingdom that is mine, but this is not true. When I am ruling myself, I am really letting Satan rule over me. I still remember the message that was presented last year in Zambia out of Exodus 3 about Moses learning to let God speak through him and this year the message was just as powerful and something I will remember and put into practice all year.
After church we loaded the buses and went to Arcades for lunch. Christina, Carly and I ate at the same lunch place I went to on Sunday last year, Mimosa’s, with Baranda and Amber. The grilled cheese with ham & tomato was just as delicious and I was able to go to Spar and exchange some more money while we waited for our food. Shopping at the market was fun as always as we bargained and bartered. I bartered travel Kleenex, travel toilet paper, chapstick, a highlighter, pen and my watch. I tried to barter and explain what Wet Ones were but nobody would trade for the Wet Ones. Carly and Christina took me back to the bus before I could barter anything else. We’ve had some fun laughs about that. We squeezed in another video blog and then it was time to load the buses and head to the Go Centre to meet our Zambian partners. While we waited for the bus I was able to walk Christina and Carly down to my villa from last year and take a picture.

At the Go Centre, we ran through all the Camp songs and dances and then met our partners. My Evangelist is Ireen who is 19 and my Apostle is Felix who is 24. As we talked and got to know each other, we commented on how we felt the Holy Spirit uniting us together. After praying together for God’s glory throughout the week we went back in the Go Centre for a few more songs. Singing Freedom Song was so powerful and I was so full of joy as we danced and sang together freely in our God.

Journal Entry 6-26-11 *SAM!*

I got to see Sam today!!! He wasn't at the Community Resource Center when we arrived because he had gotten hungry for lunch. The anxiety of waiting for him to come back to the CRC made my heart race and the thought of being so close to reuniting with him made me want to burst into tears. It was finally decided that we would just meet Sam at his house. The first stop we made was the first time I had been inside a compound house and not just outside. It was smaller than I ever could have imagined. Literally a one room 4x4 room for an entire family. So humbling. Sam's house was the next stop. I stood up from my seat to put on my chitenge and I saw him walking down the street toward the bus...I could see him! We were finally in the same place at the same time after a year of missing him so much my heart would ache. I grabbed his gift and hurried off the bus. When I rounded the corner of the bus he was there and ran into my arms giving me the biggest hug his little arms could give. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't even speak. I laid my head on his as he buried his head in my chest and I choked back tears. I looked down at him hugging me and saw the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. After a long hug I was finally able to ask how he was and tell him that I had missed him as he said he missed me too. The world came back into focus and I remembered that there were other people in the world besides the 2 of us. I asked him if I could see where he lived and he grabbed my hand just as he did for an entire week last year and he led me to his house. I first met his grandparents who were in town visiting. I then met his youngest brother, cute Judge, his 2 sisters that are older and another younger brother. His mom arrived after several minutes of sitting and talking about his family, school, friends and futbol. His mom was so sweet and greeted me with a hug. His mom and grandparents both thanked me for helping Sam and their family. I then gave Sam his gifts. The first thing he opened was his new shirt that says, "Somebody in Texas Loves Me." I read him the shirt and explained that Texas is where I love and so the shirt means that I love him. The next thing he opened was a picture frame of me and my family on one side and me and Sam on the other. I wish I could have captured the expression of JOY on his face as he opened it. He beamed, smiled from ear to ear and even gasped a little withe excitement. And finally, he opened his Bible and I read him the inscription: To Samuel, From Auntie Shannon. He said he was very happy. I was able to pray for God's blessing over him and his family before I left. Sam joined us on the bus for the rest of the day and I loved being reminded of his little personality. He of course wanted to help carry in all the groceries, help people with their seats on the bus and help wherever he could. God has given him the gift of a servant's heart and reminded me all day that He has great plans and a great purpose for Sam's life. After visiting Simon and 3 other kids houses with gifts of tomatoes, onions, cabbage, mealie meal, eggs, dried fish, 3 kinds of meat, juice, sugar, salt and oil, we went back to the CRC where I spent time with Simon, Emmanuel and Samuel. Poor Eman was so hungry he ate uncooked popcorn kernels off the floor. Ben shared some crackers with my boys as a snack. When we were about to leave, Sam started to run off and I called him back to say goodbye to me. He ran into my arms as I picked him up and hugged him. I told him I had missed him and would see him Monday at camp. He then voluntarily gave Carly and Christina hugs and ran off. They both said to me, "I get it." I thank God for another year to be in Sam's life and see him in person. He is a blessing and I pray God speaks a message to him this week. The blessing of Sam in my life is more than I deserve.

Zambia Journal Entry 6-25-11

"For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely toward you." ~1 Corinthians 1:12

Father, thank you for bringing me to scripture on seeking you and not this earth. I pray that you would break me. Last year I was exposed to the poverty and needs in dark places of the world and within a year, my heart has hardened and become spoiled again. Soften my heart and convict me of what is true, what is needed and what is of eternal importance.

Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
Til it's You alone I live for

God, You are holy and so much bigger than I comprehend on a daily basis; let me glimpse You.

Zambia 2011 Slideshow

Fullness of Joy!

I have been TERRIBLE about blogging since I got back from Africa! I've got 2 entries from my journal while I was there that I'll work on posting soon, but for now I've just GOT to brag on all my amazing God is doing!

Reading over a few of my previous posts, I was in such a place of discouragement, frustration and was somewhat depressed before I left for Africa. I am happy to report that post Africa I feel nothing but joy and awe at how God is working! And not only in my life, but in the lives of literally everyone I talk to lately. God is working overtime and seems to be showing off and I'm loving every single second of it. The past few years have been a dark road where I could feel God holding my hand as we walked together, but I could not see at all where we were headed. This gets frustrating after a while, but God is so patient and faithful to those that keep their faith in Him, even when nothing seems to be going right and everything seems confusing. Obviously, part of faith is trusting our Lord even when we can't see what He's doing and trusting that He is actively working for good on our behalf and for His glory. But post Africa, God has begun to allow me to see His hand SO clearly at work. I'm not ready to share details of what I see God working on just yet, but it's very exciting and I'm continually thanking and praising my Father for His blessings and faithfulness even when I'm so undeserving. He is truly a GOOD Father and I'm delighting in how He works.

Now that I've updated on life post Africa, I promise to post on the actual trip to Africa SOON! :)

You make known to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
~Psalm 16:11

Spiritual Warfare

In the weeks before leaving for Africa last year, I experienced unexplained nightmares, fears, worries and anxiety. During this time I learned to cling to the Lord in a whole new way by falling asleep reading Psalms where David states "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety," (Psalm 4:8) and "I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me" (Psalm 3:5). It wasn't until I got to Zambia that I recognized these nightmares for what they were: spiritual attack. During my one on one time with the boys, nearly each boy reported terrible nightmares, nightmares about Satan and darkness that made my dreams all of the sudden not seem so bad. However, through my experiences with dreams, I was able to encourage the boys with scripture to pray before they fell asleep and equip them with the most powerful tool God had equipped me with during my night terrors: prayer in Jesus name. Before I would go to sleep, I would pray for God to protect my dreams from the enemy in Jesus name. I pray often for God to protect me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, but it wasn't enough. I needed to pray for God to fight Satan in this spiritual battle while I slept. And the Lord is faithful to do so, He fights for me and is my Deliverer. My sleep became pleasant again (I had begun to dread going to sleep) and I saw the same result when my boys and I prayed for God to protect their dreams. Suddenly nightmares of the enemy chasing them in the form of a snake went away and they were allowed a dreamless nights sleep. Glory to God in the highest!!!

I had forgotten about the power of these attacks until this past week. The nightmares started again and this year, the anxious thoughts and worries while I'm trying to go to sleep are more intense than anything else. I dread closing my eyes in the silent darkness because the attacks begin. And they are draining. A friend pointed out to my mom that these are not American spiritual attacks, they are African spiritual attacks. I learned last year that spiritual warfare looks a lot different in Africa than it does in America and I've heard from other friends who have dealt with spiritual attacks specific to the countries they would be doing missions in. In Zambia, the attacks come in the form of nightmares about Satan and darkness and sometimes come in the form of demons that have to be called out. I had never dealt with spiritual attack in this capacity before going to Zambia last summer. Young children deal with depression (an attack that we are more familiar with in America, but probably more so as teens and adults). You can visibly see either darkness or light in the eyes of the children you encounter; many times a sign of the oppression, abuse or neglect they are suffering. It was a joy to witness so many of my boys, sweet Samuel included, come to camp that first day with complete hollowness and darkness in their eyes, but leave camp just 5 days later with hope and joy and light restored in their beautiful young eyes.

This year through the spiritual attacks, I'm realizing that my attacks (as difficult as they are) are only for a season. And when I wake up in the morning, I can't believe that I would stay up fretting over something that in the light of day seems so trivial and irrational. But for the kids in Zambia, and many around the globe, these attacks are a daily struggle and last much longer than a season. The fears of these children are actually their reality as they deal with poverty, rape, abuse, neglect, hunger and abandonment daily. The other thing God has revealed to me is that just because I don't feel the struggle of spiritual attack going on all the time, doesn't mean that He isn't actively fighting the battle for me all the time. The Bible is clear that “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). This realization came yesterday when despite not feeling very spiritually close to my Father as I desired, I continued to read my bible and sing praises to Him. As I sang and felt nothing about the words I was singing, I confessed to God how much I longed to feel Him near and to feel His love. And just as soon as I prayed that prayer, God answered it by placing His hand between me and the attacks so that instead of anxiety, worry and depression, all I experienced was resting in the Lord and enjoying being in love with Him. The sun had come out from behind the clouds, the waves that were rocking me stopped. I'm aware that at any moment God could lift His hand and allow me to experience more spiritual battle, but I thank Him for at least a little time of restoration so that I can stand strong once again against the enemies attacks. And I praise God for fighting these supernatural battles whether I'm tuned in to the spiritual warfare happening around me or not.

As I prepare for a second trip to Africa, I pray that God would use me as His vessel and use these trials to encourage the orphans I'll be with all week. I have no doubt that they are in this moment going through attacks similar to mine and I thank God that I already know how to specifically pray for them. And I can't wait to sit and listen to what they were going through during this time that I didn't know them, but I was praying...this experience last year was so cool and gave me goosebumps as I realized that the prayers the Holy Spirit had left on my heart for these kids I had never met were so exactly the prayers they needed at that exact time. How cool is that??? I pray that any children I meet with darkened, hardened, hollowed eyes will leave camp at the end of the week with bright, glowing, joyful eyes full of light and love as they learn that they are Royal Prince's and Princess' in God's Kingdom. And I pray that I and the group of kids I'll meet this year would resist the devil and stand strong against his attacks so that he will flee from us (James 4:7). Please join me in these prayers!

Out of My Element

"Christ has called us to thrive, not merely survive." ~Beth Moore

In turning 25 a few months ago, I was at first devastated... I had such high expectations for where I would find myself in life at this age, and while in my heart I had planned my path, the Lord determines my footsteps (Proverbs 16:9). It's devastating when you realize that your dreams and expectations are not your reality. I'm living a completely different life than I would have planned for myself which causes me to draw nearer to God and hold His hand as we walk through a period of darkness where I can't see what He's doing or how He's working, but I feel Him near and have faith that I'm not missing out, that He has intentionally brought me to this place and that He is actively protecting, preserving and preparing me for His plans and purposes for this life He created. My challenge so far at the age of 25: Don't just survive...Thrive! I wanted to share just a few of the adventures I've encountered the past few months (many that are SO out of my element!) and share with you new things that the next few months will bring that God has so graciously revealed to me recently.

February: To celebrate my 25th birthday, I spent a wonderful weekend in Austin with friends. We hiked, ate, enjoyed our favorite spots in Austin, ate some more, attended my favorite church in Austin, ate again and I finally saw the bats fly from congress bridge! Oh and did I mention that we ATE?? :)I've been attempting to see the bats fly for years, and I finally succeeded by taking a fun sunset cruise on Lady Bird Lake. Below is a pic of me with the bat bridge...I was pretty excited!

March: I've also taken up photography! For years I've wanted a nicer camera and for my birthday my loving family was able to make that dream come true. My newest hobby is losing complete track of time while walking around taking pictures with my Nikon D3100. I'm still learning Photoshop, but this has definitely been something new & challenging that I enjoy! Here's one of my fav pics I've been able to capture so far...

April: This is probably the MOST out of my element thing I've done! WARRIOR DASH! This is a 5K, but with 11 obstacles that you must complete along the way. Obstacles include wading through a cold river, climbing over junkyard cars, scaling walls, jumping over fire and crawling through mud to name a few. It was so much fun and I'm so glad I did it! This is a pic of me crossing the finish line in all my muddy glory!

May: I started working at Catholic Charities last June helping the newly homeless regain employment and housing through rapid rehousing. Through MUCH prayer, God has opened a new door and is allowing me to start a new position, still with Catholic Charities, working with the chronically homeless doing more intense case management. I am following God down this next path and excited to see what He has for me and why He's chosen to take me in this direction!

June: Probably the thing in my life that I am most THRILLED about is going back to Africa to be with the orphans. I left my heart there last summer and can't wait to be reunited with my passion, my heart and bringing God's glory to the impoverished, abandoned and neglected orphans of Zambia. The spiritual warfare as I prepare to go back has been INTENSE and seems to grow more and more intense by the day. Prayers are needed and appreciated! I've been writing letters to my sweet Samuel and have received some back from him letting me know that he can't wait to see me at camp and that he loves and misses me too. Oh how I cherish those letters. I never, ever anticipated falling so deeply in love with one of the most precious boys in the whole wide world. This is a picture he sent me of him at Christmas. He looks so much healthier, more filled out and HAPPY!!! Makes my heart do somersaults. :)

Even though life doesn't look exactly the way I thought it would, I am so blessed and I thank God for the work He's doing. I will continue to rest and delight myself in Him. He is teaching me so much of Himself and I pray that more than anything, this 25th year will bring me more passion for Him.

I Will Follow

Now the plans that I have made fail to compare when I see Your glory. Ruin my life the plans that I've made. Ruin desires for my own selfish gain. Destroy the idols that have taken your place, til it's You alone I live for.

~Jeff Johnson

I love this Jeff Johnson song and was so excited when the band started playing this song at our youth's dnow weekend recently. Except while singing the familiar words, the Holy Spirit starting pressing me...Do you really mean these words you're singing? You want me to RUIN your life? Because if that's so, then why aren't you letting go of your plans? I don't remember the words to the next song we sang, but it was along the same lines and this time the conviction was so heavy that I couldn't sing the words.

The next weekend, I woke up and was particularly excited about my time with the Lord this morning. It was the first chance that I'd had enough time to sit down and wrestle with my conviction with no distractions, no matter how long it took to work it out. God asked me 3 questions:

1. Why do you follow Me?
2. Why should you follow Me?
3. How have you been following Me?

6 journal pages later, I had answered God's questions to me and was left completely humbled by the state of my heart. God asked me to really think about the meaning of the word "follow". A word we use so often, especially in Christian circles, but I never really think about the weight or meaning of the word. The definition of follow is to go, proceed, or come after. And I realized, I'm not following God so much as I'm expecting Him to follow me. Yes, you heard that right. I've been expecting the great God of the universe, the God who parted the red sea, who spared Daniel in the lion's den, who crumbled the walls of Jericho, THIS God to follow my plans that I've made. This realization makes me sick. Just sick. There was MUCH repenting going on and thanks to God for revealing this sickness to me.

And now I'm praying for healing. So many times this past week I've started to take off full speed down a path that I think looks nice and God gently tugs at my heart and says "Wait. Are you following Me or wanting Me to follow you again? Wait." It warms my heart to think about what a good Father our God is. Oh how I love Him and oh how I'm thankful for His patience and gentleness with me. I'm so thankful He's asking me who's following who in those moments where I think I've found a good path to run down, and I'm thankful that He's allowed me to put on the brakes, stop and look back at my Father to see where He is leading. My paths are dark, frustrating, confusing and miserable. In God's presence, there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).

My Dad Was Radical

"The Kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all the he has and buys that field." ~Matthew 13:41

In the month of February I started reading Radical by David Platte...what an incredible book! I'm so excited that our church has started reading the book as a congregation and I can't wait to see how God uses Platte's powerful words to encourage & motivate us as a church body. For those who haven't read, Platte challenges the American church to live out our faith in a way that seems new and radical, but is actually just being obedient to the old ways that Jesus called us to. We've taken Jesus' commands and watered them down to a lifestyle we feel comfortable with and that quite frankly doesn't require a lot of effort on our part or faith in God. The book is filled with stories of Christians who radically followed the call of Christ to sell everything and either give to the poor or travel to another country so that they could share the gospel...which brings me to the point of this post.

A few weeks ago I traveled to Gainesville to visit my grandma and spent a wonderful weekend chatting, shopping, eating and just enjoying each other. Friday night we curled up in our pajamas and talked for hours about life, past, present and future. As we talked, my grandma began sharing stories of my dad.

Side note: One of the most challenging things about losing my dad at such a young age is missing out on ever being able to have an adult conversation with him. I have missed my dad terribly lately and have deeply longed to be able to talk to him about God's call to missions on my life. My dad was a missionary to the Philippines for 2 years before he met and married my mom. I have so many questions that I know my dad would be able to answer about the mission field, about my calling and about leaving everything behind to follow God halfway around the world, but sadly I won't be able to have this conversation with my dad until I join him in God's eternal Kingdom. However, nothing is impossible for God and He was about to prove that to me as He provided answers to my questions in a way I never imagined.

My grandma began telling me stories of when my dad went to the Philippines. I knew that he had gone and that he had planted churches that to our knowledge are still meeting 30 years later, but I did NOT know the details she would unveil that night. I began asking her questions about how my dad prepared to go overseas and if it was a difficult decision. My grandma told me that when my dad decided to go to the Philippines, get this - he sold everything. She went on to say that he sold every earthly possession he owned from his bed, the trombone he played in high school and even his truck. He abandoned everything, all his things and his family to pursue a calling to missions in the Philippines for 2 years. I asked my grandma if he said why he needed to sell everything. His reply when she asked him this same question was, "Because this is what God has called me to do. I need to make sure that my heart is right and that I've put nothing before God." I get chills and tear up thinking about what similar paths God had planned for me and my dad. My daddy always felt a call to go back overseas and continue mission work, but he never got the chance. I wonder sometimes if God created me with the same passion so that I can continue where he left off. I still ache to talk to him in person and to have him be my rock as I seek God's will for my own abandonment of everything in pursuit of His higher calling on my life, but oh how I've been encouraged to know on a deeper level the man of God that my daddy was. I'm so proud of him and I haven't felt this connected to him in 9 years.

My sweet grandma told me that she thought my dad was out of his mind for selling everything he owned, leaving everything behind and moving halfway around the world for 2 years to do missions. She said she just didn't get it. I get it. My daddy was radical for Christ - before there was ever a book or a movement. Thank you God for answering my prayer to hear daddy's story and for the life he lived to further Your Kingdom and bring You glory! May I be just as sold out for Christ.

Latest Africa News!

Yesterday was the first Africa Team Meeting and it was SO good to be around my Zambia family again! There's just something about being around people that share a God-given passion for the same mission that makes my heart full. I can already tell that the second trip back to Africa is going to be so different than the first...but just as blessed! Sitting in the meeting I kept remembering hearing the stories and seeing the videos for the first time a year ago...I couldn't imagine what it would be like over there or what I would encounter. But now I KNOW! The videos of the villages and orphans are REAL now and I hope I'm able to take more of it in this next time I'm there.

The theme for Camp LIFE this year is "Kingdom" based off of Matthew 6:33: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 19:14 records Jesus saying, "Let the little children come to Me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the Kingdom of Heaven." For the week that I'm in Zambia, I will get to be God's messenger in letting these orphans know, the Kingdom of God belongs to YOU! You are Prince's and Princess's in God's Royal Family, so hold your head up high no matter what you suffer on this earth! What a powerful message for these neglected, abused and impoverished children. I can't wait. This year, we will teach the kids at camp from Monday-Wed. and all day Thursday will be spent in their villages doing service projects! Hopefully our little Prince's and Princess's will get to show off their humble Royal status as they help fix up and clean homes in the villages. Friday we will take the kids to the brand new Family Life Legacy Center on one of the most gorgeous hilltops in Zambia - check out the video for more details on what God is doing there! http://familylegacy.com/tree-of-life/legacy-center/

Friends and family have again been so great to donate money towards sending me back to Africa and I am so blessed by the giving and by those that want to be a part of reaching these orphans for God's Kingdom. I still need about $1700, so please pray about being a part of this mission trip through giving. https://www.camplifezambia.com/shannon

DNOW Recap

This past weekend I was BLESSED to be a part of DNOW Weekend at First Baptist Hurst. I was pumped about the weekend for weeks and this past weekend I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I got to unwrap the gift of blessings that God had in store for the weekend. I was with an awesome group of 7th grade girls who were sweet, silly, fun, giggly, and ready to grow in the Lord. Saturday morning we had the chance to visit a low-income community in Hurst where we played games, cooked hot dogs and fellowshipped with people that live in the apartments near by. The girls were so bold in going to the apartments to invite people to the event, and then in befriending and talking to strangers. We met the most precious girls from the Sudan while we were there, who happened to be the same age as my 7th graders. :) We spent all afternoon laughing and playing games with them. Back at the church we met for our final small group session. For session 2 I had written out on 18 notecards the Profile of a Lukewarm Christian from Chapter 4 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan (if you haven't read this book...READ IT!) We got through about half of the cards in session 2 which each had written on them an example of what a lukewarm Christian looks like and a bible verse to go along with the topic. When it was time for session 3, the girls immediately asked if we could finish with the lukewarm notecards.
The night before I had talked with a friend of mine who was also leading at the DNOW...he reminded me to let the Holy Spirit work during the weekend and if the youth wanted to talk about something that wasn't on the agenda, to go ahead and let them. The Lord knew I needed to hear this as I am all about sticking to what's already planned!
And so when the girls asked if we could keep talking about what we had discussed in session 2, I remembered my friends words and excitedly said yes! And the Holy Spirit completely took over... They read each card and discussed what it meant to be lukewarm and what it meant to be sold out for Christ. When we finished with all the cards I asked the girls what God was doing in their heart this weekend. Most of them replied that they realized how unimportant worldly things are and how they want to live more for God's kingdom rather than the world. Praise the Lord! And then one of the girls raised her hand and through tear filled eyes told the group that she wasn't sure if she was truly saved and really believed. We prayed as a group and then I sent the rest of the girls to the Robbie Seay concert that was starting. I sat with this precious child of God and asked her why she was crying and what was going on in her heart. She told me with all confidence that the Holy Spirit was working in her and telling her she needs to believe. She could not have been more spot on about the Holy Spirit being at work!! The rest of the time with her, I was a vessel. She explained why she didn't believe and why she doubted God...and then as she began to explain to me the story of Jesus' death and resurrection, she kept going all the way to the part about Doubting Thomas. She said that he had to see the nail scarred hands of Jesus in order to believe, but that she knew that's not always how it's supposed to be. Wow! God opened the door for her to see through her own story that she was like Doubting Thomas. After some more spirit filled talking, this sweet girl prayed the most sincere and profound prayer I've ever witnessed as she accepted Jesus as her Savior.
I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks as I was rejoicing over what was happening and at the same time feeling so unworthy and undeserving to be a part of it, to be used as God's vessel in that way. To be perfectly honest, I am a really crappy person! I'm so full of faults and my past is so full of sin that God has been gracious enough to redeem and restore me from, despite myself. And for some unknown reason, God chooses to use a crappy person like me to bring glory to Himself. That's unreal.
As if being witness to all of that wasn't enough, I walk in to the Robbie Seay concert and the girls from the Sudan that we had met earlier in the day were sitting right in front of me!!! I hugged them and then sat in awe as the music played and I tried to take in all that God had done. There were SO many times I could have gotten in God's way, but by His perfect grace He worked around my humanness and accomplished great things for His Kingdom.
God, YOU are more than enough. Nothing satisfies me the way your overwhelming love does. YOU are all I need. My heart is so full and in love with You. I want to experience You each day, I want to be a part of bringing You glory for the rest of my life, and as undeserving as I am, I want to be used as Your vessel. Thank you for indescribable humbleness and for overwhelming my heart with Your goodness.

You Are God Alone

The question I've been convicted by for the past few weeks seems to be popping up in every study I'm doing, every quiet time, and every sermon I hear: Do I love God for who He is or for what He can do for me? The answer to this question is one I've been examining in my own heart and mind for a while. The end of last year brought with it some let down and disappointments, but also revealed the state of my heart and revealed where I needed to let God do some major refinement. It's no secret, I want to get married and have a family! I want to serve on the mission field! And lately, I've been thinking I might even want to go to grad school! I expressed to my mentor and dear friend last week that none of these desires in and of themselves are bad desires at all. I was created to have desires, but what do I do with desires that aren't being fulfilled? What I had been doing - trying to fulfill them myself! - was NOT working. Her sweet and gentle response to me was "Lay it down. Everyday, lay those desires at God's feet and give them back to Him." And so in 2011, that is what I've been attempting to do. Our God is so gracious and good. As a result of giving my God-given desires back to the One who can fulfill them, He has chosen instead to bless me in other ways. I may not have a boyfriend, but I am blessed with so many sisters in Christ that God is using to bring joy and encouragement and laughter to my heart. They make the journey so much sweeter. I have been blessed by God's plans to send me back to Africa. I pray that He would be properly exalted, proclaimed and glorified in Zambia. I have been blessed with an amazing family that I love and treasure. I am blessed to work with so many various ministries at my church leading worship in the praise band, teaching precious 7th grade girls each Sunday, helping with other events at my church as well as participating in Disciple Now Weekends at other churches. God knows what I need, and I pray that my heart loves God for who He is and not for what He can do for me. I pray I would be like the man in Matthew 13:44 who when He found the Kingdom of God, "hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." I pray that in reckless abandonment for the One who fulfills and satisfies not with earthly things, but by who HE IS, that I would be willing to give up everything for more of Him.