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Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me

*If you're reading this post before you've read the previous post, stop and go back before reading this one so you can fully appreciate God's great work. :)

4 days before I prayed out in faith that God would provide for me someone to share my life with, I met Benjamin Gibson in Zambia, Africa half way around the world. 4 days after I spoke out my faith in God to provide as He saw was best, Ben walked me to my villa our last night in Zambia and asked me to have dinner with him when we returned to the States. Neither of us ever in our wildest dreams expected to meet someone while on our mission trip (let alone someone who just lived 45 minutes away!). I was there to focus on sharing God's love with my boys and the orphans in Zambia, while Ben was there to focus on his photography as he took pictures of the orphans and community for the organization that we traveled with. What a humbling blessing it has been to grow with Ben in our walks with God the past few months and to know that our being together is so much bigger than just us. Our lives are committed to bringing glory to God and we feel that He is accomplishing that by joining our lives together. My hope is that by sharing God's faithfulness in this relationship that it will encourage others and bring glory to our God as I share His extreme faithfulness in my life, even when I was lacking in faith.

Ben and I have been seeking a church home in Dallas where we can begin to grow & serve together. While sitting in service yesterday, we sang a chorus that boasted of God being our strong tower and defender. God sweetly reminded me that even though life is rapidly changing at the moment, He is still my Best Friend. He is still my familiar stronghold, the One that's known and loved me all my life (despite myself), and that He always has and will always be my King, First Love, Best Friend, Provider, Protector, Comforter and Defender. It brings joy to my heart to think of all my God and I have been through together, all we will go through and to know that He is my faithful, never-changing Constant in a world so full of changes. To God be the glory, GREAT things He has done.

"This God— His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." ~Psalm 18:30

Speaking Out in Faith

In the months leading up to traveling to Zambia, Satan had found a way to keep me depressed and in doubt of God's work in my life. Slowly but surely, what started out as a little discouragement at being single and unhappy with several situations in life grew into full on doubt that God was not going to provide a husband in my life.

I journaled on June 18, 3 days before I would leave for Zambia, that I was so depressed I didn't even want to go anymore. And that's when something snapped inside of me for the good - NOT want to go to Zambia and proclaim my Father's joy to the orphans? That wasn't ME talking, that was the enemy and I knew it all too well. That night, I repented of my lack of faith, my pride and self-pity and gave over all my desires to my Father. I asked him to strip away anything fleshly and selfish within me and allow me to join Him in what He was doing. I prayed that God would rid me of distractions and that I would not worry about being accepted by anyone but God Himself. I gave over my singleness to God and committed to be faithful to Him even if a life of singleness was what He had planned for me. I resolved myself to singleness that night and to a life married to my First Love and bringing glory to Him, and it was well with my soul.

The first day at camp, we were to teach the kids 3 things they needed to practice during the week to fight off Satan's lies as they learned truth.
1. Listen to the Word
2. Believe what the Word says
3. Speak out what you believe in faith
I was happy to teach my kids these 3 important tools for the spiritual battle they would face when the Holy Spirit pressed on me... Speak out YOUR faith. It was the first day of camp that as my boys were speaking out their faith in God that I finally spoke out loud my faith: God, you will provide a husband & children to share this life with. You will not only provide a husband, but a teammate that will bring You more glory by sharing his life with me than we ever could individually on our own. God restored my faith, healed my heart and set me FREE... and did not let my prayers or statement of faith in Him go unanswered.... :)

"If we are faithless,He remains faithful— for He cannot deny himself." ~2 Timothy 2:13

Zambia Journal Entry 6-27-11, Sunday

Sunday:
Church today was amazing. We went to the Boma at Mulungushi for worship and just as last year, there was lots of singing led by the Zambian worship team and dancing as they would pull people up front and into the isles to dance and sing. Pastor Teddy presented the sermon from Matthew 6:33, our verse for Camp this week. His question and method was simple, but profound… “Who is your King?” Father, you have convicted my heart before I left America and while in Zambia that my King is way too often myself. I am my own idol. I live for myself, not you. I rule my Kingdom. Greer pointed out that there are only 2 Kingdoms: Yours, and Satans. However Satan will deceive me into thinking that there is a third Kingdom that is mine, but this is not true. When I am ruling myself, I am really letting Satan rule over me. I still remember the message that was presented last year in Zambia out of Exodus 3 about Moses learning to let God speak through him and this year the message was just as powerful and something I will remember and put into practice all year.
After church we loaded the buses and went to Arcades for lunch. Christina, Carly and I ate at the same lunch place I went to on Sunday last year, Mimosa’s, with Baranda and Amber. The grilled cheese with ham & tomato was just as delicious and I was able to go to Spar and exchange some more money while we waited for our food. Shopping at the market was fun as always as we bargained and bartered. I bartered travel Kleenex, travel toilet paper, chapstick, a highlighter, pen and my watch. I tried to barter and explain what Wet Ones were but nobody would trade for the Wet Ones. Carly and Christina took me back to the bus before I could barter anything else. We’ve had some fun laughs about that. We squeezed in another video blog and then it was time to load the buses and head to the Go Centre to meet our Zambian partners. While we waited for the bus I was able to walk Christina and Carly down to my villa from last year and take a picture.

At the Go Centre, we ran through all the Camp songs and dances and then met our partners. My Evangelist is Ireen who is 19 and my Apostle is Felix who is 24. As we talked and got to know each other, we commented on how we felt the Holy Spirit uniting us together. After praying together for God’s glory throughout the week we went back in the Go Centre for a few more songs. Singing Freedom Song was so powerful and I was so full of joy as we danced and sang together freely in our God.

Journal Entry 6-26-11 *SAM!*

I got to see Sam today!!! He wasn't at the Community Resource Center when we arrived because he had gotten hungry for lunch. The anxiety of waiting for him to come back to the CRC made my heart race and the thought of being so close to reuniting with him made me want to burst into tears. It was finally decided that we would just meet Sam at his house. The first stop we made was the first time I had been inside a compound house and not just outside. It was smaller than I ever could have imagined. Literally a one room 4x4 room for an entire family. So humbling. Sam's house was the next stop. I stood up from my seat to put on my chitenge and I saw him walking down the street toward the bus...I could see him! We were finally in the same place at the same time after a year of missing him so much my heart would ache. I grabbed his gift and hurried off the bus. When I rounded the corner of the bus he was there and ran into my arms giving me the biggest hug his little arms could give. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't even speak. I laid my head on his as he buried his head in my chest and I choked back tears. I looked down at him hugging me and saw the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. After a long hug I was finally able to ask how he was and tell him that I had missed him as he said he missed me too. The world came back into focus and I remembered that there were other people in the world besides the 2 of us. I asked him if I could see where he lived and he grabbed my hand just as he did for an entire week last year and he led me to his house. I first met his grandparents who were in town visiting. I then met his youngest brother, cute Judge, his 2 sisters that are older and another younger brother. His mom arrived after several minutes of sitting and talking about his family, school, friends and futbol. His mom was so sweet and greeted me with a hug. His mom and grandparents both thanked me for helping Sam and their family. I then gave Sam his gifts. The first thing he opened was his new shirt that says, "Somebody in Texas Loves Me." I read him the shirt and explained that Texas is where I love and so the shirt means that I love him. The next thing he opened was a picture frame of me and my family on one side and me and Sam on the other. I wish I could have captured the expression of JOY on his face as he opened it. He beamed, smiled from ear to ear and even gasped a little withe excitement. And finally, he opened his Bible and I read him the inscription: To Samuel, From Auntie Shannon. He said he was very happy. I was able to pray for God's blessing over him and his family before I left. Sam joined us on the bus for the rest of the day and I loved being reminded of his little personality. He of course wanted to help carry in all the groceries, help people with their seats on the bus and help wherever he could. God has given him the gift of a servant's heart and reminded me all day that He has great plans and a great purpose for Sam's life. After visiting Simon and 3 other kids houses with gifts of tomatoes, onions, cabbage, mealie meal, eggs, dried fish, 3 kinds of meat, juice, sugar, salt and oil, we went back to the CRC where I spent time with Simon, Emmanuel and Samuel. Poor Eman was so hungry he ate uncooked popcorn kernels off the floor. Ben shared some crackers with my boys as a snack. When we were about to leave, Sam started to run off and I called him back to say goodbye to me. He ran into my arms as I picked him up and hugged him. I told him I had missed him and would see him Monday at camp. He then voluntarily gave Carly and Christina hugs and ran off. They both said to me, "I get it." I thank God for another year to be in Sam's life and see him in person. He is a blessing and I pray God speaks a message to him this week. The blessing of Sam in my life is more than I deserve.