Feeding Tummies & Feeding Hearts

Thanksgiving 2010 was by far one of the best Thanksgiving's I've had. The time with close family members was delightful, the meal was delicious, and the memories made were sweet.

I was blessed Thanksgiving afternoon to take my brothers and join other church members at Southside Church of Christ to feed Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless. Tons of church members both young and old showed up to serve wherever needed. It's my prayer that we not only fed tummies, but that we fed the hearts of those we came in contact with. I remember first going out to feed the homeless nearly two years ago...I had no idea what to say to the people we were serving. It was such an eyeopening experience that thankfully brought me out of my comfort zone and naive belief that prostitutes, gangs, druggies and drunks only existed in the movies or big cities. Now when I serve, my favorite place to be is at the table with the homeless, making conversation with them while they eat. These people don't just want a free meal - they can get that anywhere - they want to know that other human beings care enough to sit down and interact with them.

While the homeless were eating their meal and watching the Cowboys game, I was asked, "what difference are you making here?" My answer is that honestly, I don't know. But I do know that Jesus said that when I serve the least of these, I am serving Him. And I get no greater joy than looking into the eyes of the homeless people I come in contact with and knowing that by loving on them, I am serving my Jesus. It's not for me to know what difference I'm making. I only need to be obedient to my God and leave the consequences in His capable hands.

Watch Out World...I Bought Hobbies!

I'm not gonna lie...this current season in my life is not my favorite. It's actually quite painful and I'm struggling with being content. The joy of the Lord continues to be my strength and I'm trying to focus on all the many blessings I am so thankful for instead of the blessings that haven't been given to me just yet. That being said... I realized today that I need to find something to keep me busy so that I can STOP worrying and over-thinking. My over-thinking has gotten so bad that I've had a headache as a companion for the better part of this week. I'm so silly for worrying...surely if God can make the sun rise and set without fail everyday since the creation of the earth, He can manage to work out His plans in my life. Things I'm majoring struggling with right now: patience, waiting, trust, surrender.

So, in an effort to get my mind off my troubles...I bought hobbies! And where better to buy hobbies than at Hobby Lobby, duh! After treating myself to my favorite frozen yogurt, I drove over to Hobby Lobby not having a clue what I was going to get myself into...basket weaving, cake building, flower arranging...the possibilities were endless. Here's what I ended up with:

 

A Mosaic Kit, Wooden Jewelry to decorate, and Crocheting! I'm so excited. It was interesting that I was drawn to all the types of crafts my mom had me do when I was little. I used to love crafts and I haven't used my creative skills in many years. I'm interested to explore what made me give up something I enjoy so much as well as hopefully uncover hidden talents I didn't know I had! I can't help but wonder if God is going to reveal some skill that I'll be able to use on the mission field some day....

I also started learning to play the guitar today! My brother is letting me borrow my dad's guitar to learn on. I LOVE that guitar and have so many memories of singing with my dad while he played on it. So far I have mastered the G and C chords. Tomorrow's goal is D and E! :) And I am beginning Beth Moore's 90 Days with Jesus: The One and Only. I'm crazy excited to learn more about my Savior and love Him more. And of course, I will always love bubble baths, reading, singing and spending time with my precious family & friends. Hopefully I can keep myself occupied during this season in life, challenge & learn more about myself, and grow closer to God in the process. If you have more hobby ideas, pass them along!

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." ~1 Corinthians 10:31

The Next Step

I figure a new blog design calls for a new post as well! And it's perfect timing as I actually have something to share! Since I've been back from Africa, my thoughts and prayers have revolved around the question, "Okay God, what's next??" As a girl that likes to have a game plan, it's been a tad stressful not knowing what the next step in my journey will be. I'm enjoying my work with the homeless at Catholic Charities, and my involvement with Church activities...but my heart still longs to be on the mission field (preferably with a husband in tow!) I had spent the months prior to my trip to Africa completely content in who God is and who I am in Him without a guy in my life. I wasn't looking to date and nicely turned down anyone that showed interest. I had several friends that traveled to do foreign missions, and then promptly after returning home, they met their husbands and got married. That sounded like a good plan, so post Africa, that's what I was looking for the "next step" in my journey to be. Insert Proverbs 16:9: "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps."

I was praying and talking through a lot of things with God this morning and praying again that He would be the One to fill my needs, desires, etc instead of a guy. I mentioned to Him that I'm dreading winter, the cold and the holidays because I know that's my lonely season. And then it occurred to me...if God and I can go half way around the world to a third world country, just us...then surely we can get through the holidays together, just us! He is more than Enough and I want to experience that this winter in what is normally my lonely season. I want to be able to say that I conquered a season, that I usually dread, with my King. I'm not necessarily excited about my least favorite season, but I feel that being able to get through it with just God and a different perspective on my circumstances, knowing that He is Enough and WILL fill me and satisfy me, is the next step in my journey with my Father, Best Friend, and Husband. I feel like God is teaching me to see Him as Creator and King now. It's exciting seeing His majesty and glory and I hope to experience it more deeply this season. I normally complain this time of the year because my emotions seem to reflect whatever the weather is doing...if it's gloomy outside, I'm gloomy, if it's sunny, I'm sunny...but unlike the weather, my King does not change. So I can have His Joy all year long, no matter rainy or sunny, cold or warm. He doesn't change. I'm excited that God has revealed the next step in my walk with Him AND that I already know I'm a victor and conqueror through His power at work in me. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." ~2 Corinthians 12:9

Going BACK to Africa!

Thank you all for being so supportive as I traveled to Zambia this past summer for missions.

I am beyond excited to announce that God has called me to serve in Zambia for a second summer! I'll be going June 20-July 3, 2011. It may seem early to announce this, but I need $1000 down payment by January, which will be here before I know it. The total cost of the trip is $4100. By going 3 days early, I will get to spend a full day one on one with my sponsored child, Samuel. Many of you heard "Samuel Stories" and how this precious boy captured my heart. After my time with him, I will spend the next week with my group of boys from last summer continuing to share Jesus love with them at camp. I'm also blessed to announce that 2 of my amazing friends will be making the trip with me! They both feel called and I am so excited to share this life changing experience with my sisters in Christ.

As you pray, if you feel led to donate to this mission trip, you can do so in several ways...

You can visit the Family Legacy website at http://www.legacymissions.org/donate/ and donate funds now this trip (go the ‘Donate Now’ page, select ‘Sponsor a Short-term mission trip participant’ and type in my name).

If you would like to mail in your donation, please send it to:

Family Legacy Missions International
5005 W. Royal Lane, Suite 252
Irving, TX 75063

Please write my name on the check memo so that Family Legacy knows which missionary you are supporting.

To make a donation via phone, please call (972) 620-2020 ext. 141.

Family Legacy is a federally registered 501©3 tax-exempt public charity. All contributions are fully tax deductible to the maximum extent of the law.

Please do NOT feel like you have to donate money. All I really would ask for is your continued prayer and support. I have all the faith and confidence that God will provide for every need if it is His will for me to make this trip. I am truly blessed beyond measure with wonderful people in my life and I'm grateful for you all! Thank you in advance for your love, prayers & support! ♥

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." ~Isaiah 6:8

Prayer for Zambia 2011

It's time to start praying about going to Africa again next summer! I honestly can't imagine not going back, but I want to make sure it's God's plan for my life. Please join me in praying about this opportunity! If I go, I want to go a few days early to spend time with Samuel who I'm now sponsoring every month. This mission trip cannot happen without the support of family & friends, spiritually, emotionally, and financially...so be in prayer about the support that will be needed if I'm called to go back.

I have sponsorship packets for all the other boys that were in my group this past summer, so please let me know if you feel led to sponsor one of them or would like more information. I would LOVE to share their stories with you. They are precious and they NEED you!

I haven't updated this blog in forever! Not too much is new...I'm still loving my job working with the homeless at Catholic Charities. They are a blessing and I learn so much from them. I'm continually reminded that if not for God's grace in my life I could find myself on the other side of the social worker/client equation. I still think about Africa, my boys, and Samuel at least once a day and I dream of the day I get to serve on the mission field full time. But I'm also learning patience and trying to be content where God has me now. That includes continuing to serve at my church on the praise band and at least for a little while, singing for the youth praise band while they look for a new vocalist. I'm also teaching a new group of adorable 7th grade girls who I already love! Maybe we should also pray I don't burn out too quickly... :)

Post-Africa

3 days after returning home from Africa I started a new job as a Homeless Case Manager for Catholic Charities Diocese of Fort Worth. This job is such a blessing and I find it is stretching me in new ways. I love my clients and I adore getting to help them in whatever way I can.

My first client is having trouble adjusting to living in an apartment after being so accustomed to life on the streets. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make the transition smoother for him and he immediately replied, "NO! That's the problem, you're doing TOO much and I don't have anything or anyway to repay you. I have nothing to give you." This broke my heart. I told him all we asked for in return for our services was to be grateful and that he follow the guidelines set for him in the program.

A few days later while driving to work (I have a somewhat lengthy commute now!)I was thinking about God's blessings in my life. A song called "Hear my Voice" by Jeremy Camp came on my ipod and the following words caught my attention: "The mercy you've given is more than I deserve. So I lay it down so I can heed your word." I instantly thought back to my client...what a strong picture of my relationship with God! God gives, and gives, and gives. And since it is impossible to out-give God, I find myself feeling guilty when I don't do certain things I "should." Just like my client, I feel like I need to give something back to God for all the ways He has saved me and continually given me more than I deserve. However, God tells me repeatedly exactly what I told my client... that there is nothing I can give Him to repay Him. All I can do is be thankful, and wholeheartedly obedient to His instruction for my life.

What shall I render to the Lord
for all his benefits to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the Lord,
I will pay my vows to the Lord
in the presence of all his people.
~Psalm 116:12-14

Zambia 2010 Slide Show

Day 8 - Better LATE than never!

So I started my new job and have not had a chance to finish posting my Africa journal entries! Just a few more posts to go... :)

June 12

I'm finally on Kenya Airways heading for Nairobi. Thank you God for letting me go to Kenya while I'm on this side of the world! I miss the boys already, especially sweet Samuel. Thank you God for his worm treatment this week! His head was completely free of the white spots that were there at the beginning of the week! First thing yesterday morning I made the boys blessing boxes. We took lots of pictures and videos with the boys and then had the joy party where we danced and sang for 2 hours. I woke up yesterday feeling terrible...I broke into a cold sweat 3 times while getting ready and had to collapse on my bed so I didn't throw up or pass out. My throat hurt and I felt awful. Christa felt the same way and we both rebuked Satan and told him we were going to camp whether sick or well. I was glad Christa pointed out that it could be Satan at work because I was tempted to give up and not go. Thank you Jesus for winning that victory and letting me have one last time with my boys! When entering the Go Centre, I kept wondering how I was going to jump and dance around for 2 hours feeling so terrible. God, you are faithful. As I started dancing with my boys, the sickness faded. A day later it's almost gone. Thank you! Thank you for teaching me how Satan works this week and for protecting me through every mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical attack. Satan tried to get at me from every possible angle, but through Jesus Christ, I prevailed a victorious child of God. I loved dancing with each boy down my line and then watching Sam, Dickson, Steven, David and Emmanuel dance in the isle. We went back outside for our last lunch together and to distribute blessing boxes. During lunch, David asked me so many deep questions that I was able to disciple him on regarding salvation, people who believe but are mean, people that only believe because their parents do...he asked for my evangicube and I had already been prompted by the holy spirit to give it to him, so I joyfully did. I made him promise to put it to good use. He said it would not sit around, that he would preach. He also tried some of my leftover PB&J for the first time - he seemed to like it. It's so funny to think an 18 year old has never had such a staple food for American children. Blessing Box time was so fun. The boys prayed and thanked God for the gifts they were receiving. Then I passed out the Michael's bags with the boxes, the meale-meal, oil, and sugar. They all wanted pictures with their new stuff. Jeremiah threw his bag over his shoulder and said, "Look Auntie Shannon, I'm on the go!" They felt so important and I pray God continues to bless their new gifts. They enjoyed the pictures of my family and friends. David got Connie's letter. He said to tell her thank you and for God to bless her. He was so sweet and sincerely grateful. Saying goodbye to my boys was so hard. Dickson hugged and kissed me. Samuel held me and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I'll miss him kissing my hands as we walk together. He told me he loved me and then I hugged, kissed and told each boy that I love them. I waved goodbye as the buses left and then spent final time with Mahlati and Michael. Mahlati so desires to love God more and to be closer to Him. He is so passionate. Michael asked prayer that he would stay energized and joyful for the remaining camps this summer. I pray God would fill him, grow him, and use him to reach children. I told Mahlati that I loved to hear Zambians pray because they are so passionate. He said they have experienced being so dry that now they love God and when they pray, they are filled with an overwhelming, indescribable feeling so that they feel they might explode when praying to God. Oh how I want to experience that sensation each time I come before the Throne! Mahlati decreed that I mist come back to Zambia. :) He is such a gentleman and I enjoyed him very much. We're about to land in Kenya now. It's been more than interesting sharing my trail mix & trying to talk to the French woman on this plane ride next to me!
God, you are so good and you fill me so! I love adventures with you and experiencing all the new things we've encountered this week. All my boys were eager to accept You this week because they wanted freedom, fresh starts, protection, and they had nothing else. I remember thinking that I wish it was that easy to lead Americans to Christ, but people in America are so busy, so preoccupied...they lack the brokenness and desperate need for you that I saw in Zambia. Make my home country crave you as well. Lead me to the people that need you and fill their needs with Your love.

Day 7

June 11

It's my last night in Zambia and I so do not want to leave. I want to be here in Africa. It feels so natural to be here, like part of me has come home. I love the people and I will miss my sweet boys so much. God, you have changed me through them. Again, I fell asleep last night before I could journal, so I need to backtrack and record yesterday's events...

Yesterday was show day - WOW! New socks, shoes, t-shirts and bandannas for my boys and 900 other Zambian kids in 3 hours. Such a rush and so incredible. I prayed over each of my boys as I fitted their feet with new shoes. My prayer is still that You would anoint these boys new shoes to be the beautiful feet that spread the Good News. I saw such a transformation in these boys from wearing the same outfit I had seen them in all week to placing them in new, crisp, clean clothes and shoes. And then, my favorite part of the trip - going to their village! So amazing! We stopped at Jeremiah's grandmother's house. She is nearly blind and very elderly. She was already saved and sang to us and shared Micah 6 with the boys. We left her with a bag full of cooking oil, meale-meal, and sugar. She was so grateful. We then visited a grandmother with at least a dozen grandchildren running around. Half the boys went to the back of the house to witness and half of us stayed at the front of the house as the woman found seats for us. The boys unashamedly shared the gospel through the evangi-cube with her. The last woman invited us to sit on a shaded mat while Moses shared the gospel with her. She was already saved as well and said a prayer over us. It was interesting to watch her breastfeed in front of 20 boys! They didn't care...I think I was the only embarrassed one there. :) I was SO proud of my older boys for being so bold in their preaching. They lit up and loved evangelizing with a passion. I sent them back out to keep preaching even after I left and they reported today that they did visit some other houses and will continue to do so. On our way to the bus the boys stopped to witness to a man and some other men started to flirt with me. My boys were so protective - they all surrounded me and threw their arms around me. Samuel held me around the waist so tight. He claims he is always angry and a bully, but I've seen him love all over me, be so protective and cling to me, and also be afraid of certain thing, like when he ducked and covered during the joy party when the confetti machines made a loud sound. Lord protect your Samuel, deliver him from fear and evil. I have learned so much about spirits and evil this week...fill me with the Holy Spirit. The man flirting with me wanted me to take a picture with his youngest daughter. She never smiled and her eyes were dark and scared. I put Samuel down so I could love on her, hold her, kiss her, and tell her how pretty she was. I have such a bad feeling about that man and pray protection over that little girl and his other children from him and his friends.

Day 6

June 9

I was a slacker last night and chose sleep over journaling...I'm regretting not writing down the thoughts of the day while they were so fresh! Yesterday I was able to start Samuel (age 10) on treatment for his worms and he will finish FREE treatment tomorrow. Thank you God! I am worried for his salvation and pray for a miracle to ensure that he and all my boys know the Lord by the end of the week. 3 of my boys were saved yesterday and Brighton was saved today! I thank God for my partner Michael and how he teaches the boys the gospel while I am having one on one time with each of them. I'm also thankful for my new translator Mahlati. Zackie was fired today. It was a necessary move, but I feel badly for him and was shaken up by the whole incident. God was so good to calm my nerves when all of this was happening. I talked to mom earlier who said she woke up at 3:30 in the morning U.S. time to pray for me...that was 10:30 am Zambia time which is EXACTLY when Zackie was getting fired! Mom also told me before I left that Wednesday would be a powerful day and that she would be praying extra hard on this day. I found out this morning that I would have to share my testimony with the boys...I was so glad to know mom was praying specifically for this day. Thank you God for speaking through my testimony and for all the questions the boys had, especially about marriage. They so desire to be godly men. Tomorrow I will go with the boys to their village so that they can share the gospel with their neighbors. God, prepare the hearts of those we will encounter and use the boys in a powerful way. Let them be bold and confident as they present the gospel. Work in a God-sized way to change this community.

Day 5

June 7

Father, I love you. I humbly come to you confessing that I cannot continue without you. You are SO big and there are so many sides to you - how can I know them all? I am so small. Teach me to see your face, show me who You are. Let me feel your nearness as you rid me of myself and fill me with you. Thank you for protection today and for introducing me to the boys that I have been praying for since January. Thank you for protecting my boys from the enemy. I feel like I have it so easy - all of my boys claim to be born again, none of them appear to be sick or possessed...as I dig deeper, I know I will uncover what you already know about their circumstances. Please make them feel comfortable enough with me to share their story, give me discernment that passes through language barriers and give me words to speak to them. Thank you for blessing me with 13 amazing boys. I already love them all. I pray their hearts would be open, their minds focused, and that you would be at work through me showing them truth and love. I pray that when I smile, dance, love and hug Samuel or any of the boys that they would see and feel you in all of it. Help me to reach them through your power - let them understand. Don't allow me to get in the way of your work and what you want to accomplish. Thank you for Jeremiah's salvation this morning. I love serving you, I love loving you, I love doing your work. May everything else in life seem insignificant and float away as I become consumed by my God. You are real, alive and at work. Let's keep going! I love you!

"And my God will supply every need according to His riches in glory in Jesus Christ." ~Philippians 4:19

Day 4

June 6

What a day! First thing this morning I met Beauty who has played such an important role in breaking my heart for orphans. She is a few years older than she was in the video, but still so beautiful. She sat behind me in church and I loved turning around to see her there. All the orphans were beyond precious. I didn't know any of the Zambian worship songs, except for one that was on the CD I got prior to the trip out here, but I LOVED hearing the Zambians worship! When they worship, they do not hold back, they sing at the top of their lungs, smile, dance, clap and lift their hands. How refreshing to experience true, undefiled worship. Pastor Eric spoke from Exodus 3 on Moses. He pointed out that the order of JOY must be Jesus, Others, You - no matter how much compassion I have, others cannot come before Jesus and neither can I.
After lunch was shopping at the market - so fun and such friendly people! I enjoyed getting to know Anne and Rachel better, we have a lot in common. Finally this afternoon I met my Zambian partner/evangelist/translator, Zackie (short for Zacchaeus). He is only 17, but I have so much to learn from him. We got to know one another for 30 minutes and prayed over the week. He likes that I'm real with him and not fake - I consider that a great compliment. Zackie has 5 brothers and sisters of which he is the oldest. His parents were separated, but his dad died when he was 1. He lives with his mom now, just finished high school, and plans to attend the University of Zambia just up the road to study IT. He loves rap and knew many American artists including Flame, Toby Mac, Kirk Franklin, Mary Mary, Michael W. Smith, and others I have not heard of. He even rapped for me! Zackie asked me how many people I had led to Christ this year - my answer was none, but that I had prayed with and shared the gospel with a few people. He answer - he has led 50 people to Christ just this year. I tried to come up with excuses like things are just different in America, it's not that easy...but all Zackie does is take his Bible to the streets and when someone believes, he leads them to Christ and they start attending church. I have been so convicted all evening. Father, am I a lukewarm Christian? In the States I would say no way, but here, embarrassingly yes. Father, I pray you would change my heart to share the gospel everywhere, especially in America. How can my purpose really be to glorify you if I'm not sharing you with everyone I meet? Make me bold and proud of you in my life.

Day 3

June 5

I'm here! We're finally in Africa together and God, You are so alive and at work! I don't feel homesick at all, actually the opposite. I feel like my heart has been divided between the home I was born in and Africa to which it was called at the age of 8 - and that part of my heart feels completely and indescribably at home! In London I felt so lost, disoriented, and anxious. I don't feel any of those emotions here. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, without a doubt. Father, why have you called me here? What is my specific purpose? Please reveal what you have for me here. Open my heart to see you clearly, to know you deeper, and to fall even deeper in love with you. Use this trip to bind us together so closely that even in the states you are my desire and nothing else can come before you. Father, give me a heart for these orphans. Help them to open up to me and as they do, speak through me to directly communicate to them yourself - I am your vessel, use me. I don't know what this week holds, but I know it's big, good, and something you couldn't tell me in America. I trust you and anxiously await for you to speak to my heart here.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." ~Ephesians 3:20-21

Day 2

June 4

Father, I am sooo tired. I got 4 hours of sleep last night and walked at least 5 miles sightseeing London. I loved London, but now I'm exhausted, I stink, my feet are blistered and I'm sunburned. Oh Father, protect my emotions from the enemy. Thank you for providing Christa to tour London with. I pray you would bless our new friendship. Protect me from the enemy fully and prepare my heart for the week ahead in Africa. You are so good - let me feel your nearness. Speak through my life and be more than enough. Be glorified in my life!

Day 1

June 3, 2010 - 5:45 pm

And we're off! The plane is in the air and it's just you and me God. What an awesome adventure! Have I ever been this at peace? ALL my fears have been put to rest, from the minute my family left me at baggage check. They are such an awesome family. Father, thank you for being near. Let my life glorify You. Be my focus, my joy, my all. Help me to be protected from Satan's distractions. Be more than enough for me Lord. Consume me in your love, and in Your embrace. Speak clearly to my heart. I love You!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!" ~Joshua 1:9

Home from Africa!

I'm back! This trip was the absolute best thing I have ever experienced. I'll be working on posting my daily journal entries to the blog soon...there is so much to share.

In the meantime, pray for my boys, ages 10-18. Seven of them received Christ this past week and the others claim to already be born again! All of my boys can be sponsored for $40 dollars a month through a program very similar to World Vision or Compassion. Your sponsorship helps pay for food, clothes, and school fees as well as potentially removing them from abusive home situations. Please pray & get in touch with me if you are able to support one of these precious boys!

Pray for me as I'm still recovering from jet lag and trying to gain control of my allergies...I lived in a dust bowl in Africa and I'm trying to not get sick now that I'm home! Haven't felt well at all today...

ALSO, I start my new job at Catholic Charities at the end of this week! Praise God! Very excited about this...I'll be working as a Case Manager for the Homeless.

So much to praise our Wonderful Maker for!

Please Pray

I leave for Africa in 2 days! And no, it still hasn't hit me just how real all of this is becoming. I feel so bogged down my details of packing and making sure everything is in order that it's challenging to find time to relax and soak in all that's about to happen. However, Satan is totally aware that I leave in just 2 days and is attacking me in every way non-stop. I'm so thankful for a victory in Jesus that allows me to overcome these attacks, but I feel such a desperate need for prayer from my family & friends. While I know I have so many people praying over me, I wanted to share a few specific prayer requests before I leave...

Please pray:
That God would remove all fears and confusion in my heart and mind - this is a HUGE form of attack in my life right now.
That as I continually feel so inadequate to go on this trip and do this work, that God would overcome that lie and that His power would be displayed through me to make me adequate and to do His good work.
That I would not be distracted by trivial, insignificant things in life.
That I would not be burdened by worrying what other people think of me or how they treat me.
That Satan would NOT be able to steal any of my joy, excitement or peace about this trip.
That God would protect my mind, my heart, my spirit, and my body at all times.
That God would protect all my personal weaknesses that Satan seems to delight in using against me.
That I would be protected from Satan's continual lies and discouragement.
Protection as I travel internationally by myself for the the first time.
That all the packing and errands I need to run would get done.
For my family, that God would protect them while I'm gone both physically and from any spiritual attack they may face while I'm gone.
For the Zambian orphans that I'll be ministering too - that God would already be delivering them from evil circumstances and preparing their sweet little hearts for what He wants to do in their life.
That God would speak through me into these lives.
That God would convict me while I'm gone - that He would let me know Him in a new & fresh way, that He would reveal what He has planned for me after Africa, and that my heart would be changed as I encounter Him.
That I would feel God's closeness these next 2 days before I leave, and know that I am not going alone.
That I would be willing to be obedient and surrender to whatever He calls me to next.
That first & foremost, God would be glorified in everything, that I would constantly remember this life is not about me, it's all about Him.

Thank you for all your prayers, love, support, and encouragement throughout the past several months. I have been so blessed by all of you as I've prepared to go. And now it's time to actually go. I can't wait to share the great things I know our God will accomplish.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth." ~Acts 1:8

Idols

The past few months, God has been speaking to my heart about idols. I'm so excited about the truths He's been revealing to me that I just have to share them.

My good friend Brette came back from a 4 month mission trip to Bali last week. Bali is consumed by worshiping idols and sacrificing to false gods. Looking at pictures of the offerings and hearing stories about the evil that happens in that country is heartbreaking. Please keep Bali in your prayers and pray for God to deliver these people from their darkness. But also, pray that you would recognize idols in our own country and in your own life that may look different, but are just as heartbreaking...

An obvious idol for me, and for many girls, is the god of relationships. It is socially good and acceptable to always have a boyfriend and to be actively pursuing marriage. Dating and marriage are not evil, but like so many earthly things, they become evil when we long for them more than we long for our Heavenly Father. When we begin to love relationships first, when we love the person we are with more, we commit adultery against our First Love. Adultery is a strong word, but it's that serious. Once I had repented of this idol in my life, I thought I was in the clear, good to go...I mean, I don't literally worship other statues of gods like they do in the Bible, so all those verses about not worshiping other gods must not apply to ME, right? Wrong! As soon as I laid down my dating relationships to God, He opened my eyes to show me that I was still worshiping so many other idols!! And most of them involved worshiping another person - what they thought of me, how I tried to impress them, what I did to please them or make them like me, how I tried to make them fill me, love me, or make me feel complete... And still, there were MORE idols...entertainment, food, family, money, school, dependency on other people...the list goes on.

"But my people have exchanged their Glory for worthless idols. Be APPALLED at this, O heavens, and shudder with great horror!" ~Jeremiah 2:12

While sharing this overwhelming list with a friend of mine, she pointed me to Exodus 32, the story of the golden calf. Read this story, and ask yourself, why would they choose to worship a calf? A lion or something big, powerful and majestic makes more sense...but a cow?? All throughout the Old Testament, people worship ridiculous, meaningless animals. My friend pointed out that God let them worship these silly animals to show the magnitude of how dumb their worship of other gods truly was. Exodus 32:8 says,

"They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and have sacrificed to it."

Now, while you're thinking about how dumb these people in the Old Testament look bringing sacrifices to a cow, replace that cow with YOUR idols. Picture yourself bringing sacrifices to an ungodly relationship. Watch yourself worship what people think of you. How dumb do you look as well? This illustration totally changed my perspective and helped me to see the fullness of how disgusting my worship of my gods are when I could be worshiping and sacrificing to the King of Kings, the only worthy God.

Philippians 3:19 says "Their god is their stomach..." I love that Paul uses the word stomach here, because stomachs have to be filled. And once filled, they quickly become empty and in need of being filled again. The process is an endless one of continually trying to fill a hunger that will never go away. In my favorite parable of the women at the well, Jesus says in John 4:13-14,

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

When I think about my constant need to be filled with love, my desire to be liked by everyone, my yearning for someone to delight in me, I can't help but cringe at remembering how I've tried to seek these needs from another human or an earthly object. I'm embarrassed by the adultery I've committed with this world against my Lord. And I'm overwhelmed that He still takes me back each time I cheat on Him, forgives me, loves me, uses my mistakes for good, and truly fills and satisfies all the desires I try so hard to make other gods fill.

Jeremiah 2:28 asks,

"Where then are the gods you made for yourselves? Let them come if they can save you when you are in trouble!"

When I read scripture about "lower case gods", I immediately try to picture my gods and ask my God to destroy anything coming between my worship of Him. I've trusted gods to come and save me when I needed help, and I have consistently been let down. As I trust my God to save me when I am in trouble, I am consistently NEVER let down.

"If I put my trust in human beings first, I will end in despairing of everyone; I will become bitter, because I have insisted on man being what no man ever can be--absolutely right. Never trust anything but the grace of God in yourself or in anyone else." ~Oswald Chambers

I'm a College Grad!

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13

I am officially a college graduate...I never thought the day would come! Having to work full time nearly my entire college career forced me to squeeze 4 years of college into 6. But I finally finished. As I've reflected on the past 6 years I can't help but remember all the times I wanted to quit, all the times finishing seemed impossible, all the changes in major, all the not having a clue what I wanted to do with my life, all the tears cried over math classes, all the late nights studying, all the facebook procrastination when I needed to write papers :), all the times I had to pass up fun to study, all the encouragement I received from family & friends, and all the prayers for endurance, guidance, and comfort from my sweet Savior. And as I've remembered all these moments, I am overwhelmed at how my God supplies ALL my needs. He is so good and so faithful. I love the journey we've been on the past 6 years. It's been a journey of a lot of lows as I've tried to rebel, but also a journey of a lot of grace as God has refined me and given me a heart that loves Him more than life. I'm so looking forward to the start of a new chapter and I am THRILLED that the first pages in this new chapter of life include making a life-long dream come true by traveling with God to Africa for missions!!! Graduation is behind me now...next stop, Africa!

Wake Up Call

This is Beauty's story. It is so hard to hear, but so necessary if we are going to be following God's command to...

Be doers of the word, and not hearers only...religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. ~James 1:23,27

Beauty's story is very similar to the stories of the orphans I will be encountering this summer. She is so strong and truly beautiful inside & out. I don't know how you can hear something like that and not be changed. God has used Beauty as a huge wake up call in my life to break through my sheltered heart. I recognize that while I am safely asleep in my warm bed with all the comforts I can afford, children like Beauty are going to bed starving, being beaten, having hot knives thrown at them, are being raped in the streets of their villages, are being yelled at and screamed at with harsh words, and so much more when, as Beauty stated, they have done nothing wrong. I have realized how truly blessed I am to have grown up in a safe, loving, Christian home. And now more than ever I want to be an advocate for the innocent. I want to show children in Zambia and in my own country Light in this dark world.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ~John 10:10

Satan wants nothing more than to destroy these innocent little ones. He does not see them as cute and precious the way we do. He wanted Beauty to take all of her Folic Acid that night and end her life. But God said, "NO!" and He lovingly claimed her as HIS own! HE delivered her from darkness. And now Beauty testifies God's sovereignty in her life through seeing that He had good planned for her life and a much bigger calling.

I thank God for everything. I even thank Him for stopping me to kill myself. Oh God, I thank you. ~Beauty

I pray that all who hear Beauty's story would be burdened to take action and protect God's little ones. Zambian children are not the only ones hurting and suffering. Let's not be so naive as to think the same horrible things are not just as likely to occur in our country, in our cities, and on our streets. Pray for God to turn your heart and to show you how to serve His Kingdom in reaching out to a lost and dying world that Satan is desperately trying to destroy. May we not be satisfied to live as the world does, but to...

Count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ. ~Philippians 3:8

OH HOW HE LOVES US!

I have to share a personal victory as I am exploding with God's love and mercy today! Almost a year ago I set out to make what seemed like an impossible change in my life. I wanted to let go of my personal crutch that I had become fully dependent on for fulfillment in life, and instead, I wanted to grab a hold of God and be completely satisfied in Him, knowing that He is enough and everything else is a loss compared to knowing Him. As I said, this seemed IMPOSSIBLE, especially with the deep habits that had built up in my life and shaped much of who I had become and the everyday decisions I made. In the midst of this pursuit, I was faced with the trial of letting go of, forgiving, and moving on from a person who hurt me deeper than I knew a person could possibly hurt someone. A fear of this person built up in my heart and Satan delighted in using the situation to torture me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. For many months I found myself completely broken, in deep pain, and a slave to this person.

I had to see this person last night.

And the victory was mine in Christ! I was able to show this person God's grace, mercy, and love. I know with all my heart that it was not me sitting with and conversing with this person, but Christ, and I pray they saw Christ sitting with them and not me. I had worked so hard to forgive this person and to see myself as God sees me, instead of seeing myself through this person's eyes as small and worthless. In coming to see myself as loved, holy, and a bride of the King, I know that I am loved to the max by my Savior, and so I can live confidently and joyfully without fear of what other people say or think of me. I now know that I am HEALED and this person no longer has power over my life! PRAISE GOD! I honestly believed that I would never get to a place in my life where I could let go of my personal crutch. God did the impossible in my life, once again...I am no longer hung up on anyone but HIM! HE is more than Enough. I am HIS bride. I am HIS beloved. I am HIS child. OH HOW HE LOVES US!

"My Beloved is mine, and I am HIS!" ~Song of Solomon 2:16

Surrender to Him, whatever your personal crutch is, whatever you are holding on to. His plans and His love are so much greater. Don't know how to begin to let go? Pray for God to turn your heart back towards Him. Pray for Him to SMOTHER you in His love and to reveal His delight and His affections for you. Don't believe He delights in you? Read Psalm 139 and BELIEVE what it says. His love doesn't just apply to those around you, it applies to YOU too! Dive into the Word, soak in His love, and surrender! Fall in love with your Creator!

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." ~James 4:7-10

Trip is Paid Off!

It seems like yesterday I was asking people to pray as I stepped out in faith to accept the call to go to Zambia this summer. 2 months ago, $4300 seemed like an impossible amount to raise for a trip in just 3 months. I have rejoiced over every donation received and now I rejoice in God's abundant faithfulness as the trip is officially paid off. I am so aware that it is not just me going on this trip. Everyone who has donated, prayed, encouraged, and supported me is going with me. I am blessed to be representing everyone who has contributed to reaching orphans for Christ in Zambia. Throughout this process I have posted prayer requests; there are still many prayers needed as June quickly approaches, but I want to take some time to lift up praises to our Faithful Provider, God.

Praises:
-$1000 down payment was made in January a day before the deadline.
-Money for immunization shots was provided by my sweet family.
-My friend of 16 years took time out of her day to drive me to get my shots.
-Individuals from church, school & life groups have provided ALL the supplies needed for the blessings boxes I'll be taking to Africa with me.
-Money for a VISA when I get to Zambia has been provided.
-Extra funds for buying travel necessities, traveling expenses, etc. have been provided.
-The total $4300 for the trip has been provided 2 weeks before the deadline.
-The opportunity to share what God is doing in Zambia with total strangers and non-Christian friends.
-Meeting new brothers & sisters in Christ, and developing new bonds & friendships as we come together in the common interest of serving God through missions.
-Seeing the most giving church I've ever encountered smother me with their love, kindness & giving hearts.
-Experiencing God change my heart as He prepares me for Africa.
-Knowing and experiencing HIS love in totally new & passionate ways.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. ~Ephesians 3:20-21

Special Africa Need. Please Read!

I had my first team meeting for Africa last weekend and found out that we will be giving the kids "blessing boxes" on our last day there. For those of you that are familiar with Samaritan's Purse Operation Christmas Child, the boxes are kind of like that. I will have 15 kids in my group and will be responsible for all 15 boxes for them...basically, if I don't bring it with me, they don't get it. Soo...I need your help! They've asked us to get our church involved in giving to these boxes. The list below is what I need to bring with me to Africa. If you feel led to donate any of these items, please feel free to contact me or drop them off at the church office.

Blessing Box Items:
15 Boxes of 16 Count Crayons
75 Pencils (5 per child)-- I was amazed at how many brand new pencils I had laying around the house!!
15 Pencil Sharpeners
15 Pink Erasers
30 Ballpoint pens (2 per child)
15 Toothbrushes
15 Bottles of lotion (2 oz. size)
15 Bars of Soap
15 Sheets of Stickers
15 Beanie Babies, Webkins or Small Stuffed Animals
$10 per box - in total, $150 for 15 boxes (this covers the cost of the plastic box containers being bought and shipped to Africa)

Everyone has been so awesome to be apart of this trip through prayers and donations. I am beyond grateful. We are getting closer to the $4300 needed to make the trip each day! Thank you, thank you, thank you! God is good!

The Big 2-4!!!

That's right, I turned 24 on Monday! Of course you can't just celebrate your birthday on ONE day...so I spent the weekend celebrating as well! :) For Sunday lunch, some of our life group went to Joe T's to celebrate all of the February birthday's in our class. The sun came out long enough for us to sit outside and enjoy our fabulous meal!

I love, love, love downtown Fort Worth and had wanted to spend most my actual birthday hanging out there, at the Water Gardens, Trinity Park, and the Botanical Gardens. However, it was COLD on my birthday! So we made a family outing to the Water Gardens Sunday afternoon, which was a complete blast.

My sweet mama took Monday off of work so she could spend my birthday with me. I got to sleep in a little and then we headed to PF Chang's downtown for lunch. Our waitress was sweet and brought me out a tiny little red velvet cake...my fav! And God bless her, she did NOT sing Happy Birthday to me!!!! I'm not big on being sung too in restaurants. :)

After our delicious lunch at PF Chang's, we got birthday mani's & pedi's. I don't get to splurge on getting pampered too often, so this was a wonderful treat! I have such an amazing mom!!! I love her so much!

By the time we got home, both boys were home from school, so I got to open presents, eat dinner & birthday cake with them. Then a friend of mine took me to the Mavs game to see them play the Pacers. I've never been to a game on my birthday, so it was a really fun night. We had awesome seats right behind the Mavs goal and to top it off, they brought home a birthday victory for me! Ok, maybe not just for me... ;)

All in all, I had a perfect 24th birthday. I was so blessed by all my friends happy birthday text messages, calls and facebook posts! I think God knew that I needed to be loved on, and I certainly felt loved! Thanks to everyone who helped make my 24th so great! And here's to a new year full of new lessons to learn, new adventures to be had, and new joys to experience. God is good!

Baking My Way to Africa

A lady my mom works with said that if I would bake her a Pecan Cobbler, that she would donate towards my trip! I have no problem at all baking my way to Africa if that's what it takes. Here's a picture of the yummyness...wish I could have had a bite, it smelled sooo good!



I am so humbled and moved by all the generous donations towards this trip to Africa. I need about $1000 more in donations and I'll be all paid up...that's incredible!!! Especially considering that all this has happened within less than a month. Amazing. Still blown away at how much bigger this trip is than just me and how God is using it to reach people here even before I ever step foot in Zambia.

The mission of helping orphans in a foreign country is something that interests people. People that would not give me the time of day to talk to them about God will gladly listen, with a smile on their face, as I tell them about the work I'll be doing with orphans in Africa through children camps. My prayer is that God will receive all the glory and that He will use me as a vessel to bring glory to Him whether in Texas or Africa.

We had a missionary speak to our life group this past Sunday. He had some really good and critical things to say, not just about missions, but about our daily walks with God. I had a chance to talk with him for just a minute after life group about what I would be doing in Africa this summer. He said something that echoed in my mind all week: "I hope it ruins you." He said this with the biggest smile on his face and I knew exactly what he meant. My reply was that I hope it ruins me too. I hope and pray this trip ruins me for everyday life as I've come to know it. I pray that I would see a bigger work that God is doing and that I would not be satisfied to come "home" living the same way as I did before I left. I'm praying and feel confident that this trip will be life-changing. I'm not exactly sure how it will change me, but I know it will, and I know it will "ruin me." I can't wait.

5 Questions

I got tagged by Megan to answer these 5 questions. I'm such a sucker for these things!

Instructions: Answer 5 questions with 5 answers, and then tag 5 people.

1. Where were you 10 years ago?
>I was 14 years old, in the 8th grade.
>I had just moved to Saginaw and started at my new school, Wayside Middle.
>I missed my friends at Bluebonnet Middle and made new friends that I still love to this day.
>I sang in my first UIL solo competition.
>My Sunday School teacher guided me in my walk with Christ and taught me life lessons I still hold onto.

2. What is on your to do list for today?
>It's late today, so TOMORROW I will take Jonathan to school.
>Finish algebra homework.
>Go to classes.
>Go to praise band practice.
>Watch the new Grey's and The Office before bed. :)

3. What five snacks do you enjoy?
>Popcorn - all time fav
>Chips & queso
>Ice Cream
>Pretzels
>Goldfish crackers

4. Where are five places you have lived?
>Fort Worth, Texas
>Overton, Nevada
>Bedford, Texas
>Glen Rose, Texas
>College Station, Texas

5. Name five things you would do if you were a billionaire.
>Tithe to my church & donate to missions
>Pay back my student loans
>Pay off my car
>Make sure my mom & brothers are taken care of
>Have a really fun shopping spree!!!

Now, I tag...
1. Joanna
2. Rachel
3. Jennifer
4. Phillip
5. Christina

Latest Africa Update!

We've raised $2000 for my trip to Africa in 2 weeks!!! Half way there...you guys are awesome!!!! I am so thrilled at how God is working everything out. I made the $1000 down payment deadline last week with 1 day to spare, and less than a week later the total amount raised is at $2000! I am literally blown away. That leaves $2300 to go. I cannot say thank you enough for all the generous donations. I am physically going on this trip, but everyone who has donated, loved on me and lifted up a prayer is going on this trip too.

A few more prayer requests:
*I will need to get several immunization shots (oh joy!) before I go. The money sent to Family Legacy goes straight to the cost of the trip (as is should), so please be in prayer that God would provide money for shots, traveling expenses (meals, souvenirs, etc.) and other personal expenses as I prepare for this trip.

*Continue to be in prayer for my spiritual walk as God deepens my love for Him and grows me into a woman after His own heart. Pray that in everything, at all times, HE would be more than Enough.

*Pray that I would be protected spiritually, mentally, emotionally & physically from the enemy's attacks.

*As graduation draws near (3 months!) pray that God would direct my path to the career that He has planned for me and that my final semester would go smoothly.

The tremendous amount of donations and support I've received have showed me that this trip is bigger than just me. This is YOUR trip too! I would LOVE to hear your personal story of any way God has worked in your life through your giving, praying or hearing of this trip. Please do not hesitate to write me, call me, or tell me in person what God is going in your life!

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." ~Deuteronomy 6:5

Africa Is Where My Heart Is

Ok, as promised, here is the background story to my calling to Africa! Sorry it's so long!

This story actually starts in 1994 when I was 8 years old! After my family moved back home to Fort Worth from Overton, Nevada where my dad had been a pastor for 6 years, the first organization I got involved with at our new church, North Fort Worth Baptist, was Girls in Action (GA's). Each summer, the GA's attend a summer camp at Riverbend Retreat Center. My first GA camp was life changing. It was where I came to know Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, and also where I developed a passion for Africa, specifically the country of Kenya. Our missionaries at GA camp were from Kenya. They told us their stories, what God was doing, showed us artifacts from the country and even taught us some words and songs in the Swahili language that I STILL remember! I remember I could not wait for the next GA camp so I could hear more missionary stories. The missionaries the next summer were from China. While I was still interested because of my passion for missions, I was not as captivated by this country as I had been with Kenya.

From that time on, Africa has been in my heart and a constant influence in my life. In high school, a few friends of mine were able to go on mission trips to Africa and I remember not being exactly jealous, but definitely wishing that I could go. In my second year of college, my mom and I attended the Women of Faith conference in Oklahoma City. World Vision was a sponsor and of course, a video of Africa was shown as they asked for volunteers to donate and get involved. The video pricked something in my heart and brought me to tears. The tears continued as we drove back to the hotel that night. I told my mom that I knew God wanted me to go to Africa, but that I was scared. My fear caused me to push Africa to the back of my mind.

2 years ago, my brother Matthew, you guessed it, went to Africa! While I was so excited for him and supportive of God calling him to go...I wanted to go!!! Matthew brought us all gifts back from Africa, but my gift could not have been more perfect. At GA camp 14 years earlier, one of the missionaries had brought tire shoes for us to look at and explained how these flip flops were literally made out of old rubber tires. I knew that if I ever went to Africa, I wanted a pair of these fascinating shoes! Fast forward to 2 years ago when Matthew came home from Niger with gifts...I had never told him of how I wanted tire flips flops, but guess what he brought home for me!!! I was floored and could not wipe the smile off my face as I told him how much I had wanted tire shoes from Africa. Passions were stirred and Africa has been heavy on my mind for the past 2 years. I knew I was going to get my chance, I just had to wait for God's timing and provision.

It's time!!! Everyday, God unfolds a little bit more of how He has been working to prepare me, and orchestrate my first trip to Africa this summer - and He did it all without my help or knowledge of what He was doing!! This time last year, I did not know that I was coming to the end of a long line of bad decisions, bad dating habits/choices and the start of a lot of brokenness and God putting me back together. This time last year, I had NO idea that the dream of going to Africa was so close to becoming a reality. As I've mentioned in several blog posts, God used 2009 to turn me inside out, clean out the junk in my life, and restore what was broken in me. He is so good and faithful to take care of His own! I know now that He was and is preparing me for this trip. My heart was not in any shape to serve Him and others in a foreign country, and my Father certainly knows that better than I do. I still have a long way to go and I'm so glad that He is never finished with us.

Over the course of refining me this past year, God has blessed me with 3 very godly wise ladies to provide wise counsel and godly encouragement in my life. In December, I transitioned to start meeting with Jessica in order to provide continued counsel and encouragement. I thought that I was good to go and really did not see myself meeting with her that often, if at all. But God had a bigger plan. God had been making Africa HEAVY on my mind through December, and now into January, and I knew I was supposed to go THIS summer. But how, where and with who??? I did not have answers to any of these questions, I just knew I was going! As I tried to answer these questions for myself, the Lord kept whispering, "talk to Jessica...." Around the 2nd week of January, I shared with Jessica my calling. Her first words were, "look up Family Legacy!" Jessica had served with FLMI in Lusaka, Zambia the summer after her college graduation and could not say enough good things about the experience. She gave me the website and I went straight home to look it up and actually started filling out the application the next day! However, the filling out of the application came to a screeching halt when I saw the price tag...yikes! I did not have $4300! I planned to graduate in May and wanted to start my career job this summer. My mind raced, "What if, in this economy, my new job wasn't willing to wait for my to get back from Africa and chose to hire someone that would start immediately after graduation? What if I couldn't raise the money? What if it wasn't God's will and I made all of it up in my head because I wanted to go? What if I get on the plane and terrorists take over or we crash???" Suddenly all the worldly details were very overwhelming and discouraging. I still wanted to go, but just did not see how it was going to happen.

I started researching other less expensive options and looked up multiple churches and organizations who were also going to various places in Africa this summer. None of them excited me the way going to Zambia with FLMI had. I wasn't called to go on other trips, I was called to go to Zambia. Every time I thought about Africa and tried to figure out on my own, the whisper was there, "wait, and talk to Jessica." Of course Jessica had felt the same way and done exactly what I did when she saw the price tag to go with FLMI to Zambia. She then told me her incredible story, which ends in God providing ALL the funds in THREE days! I left feeling encouraged, hopeful, and knowing more than ever that I did not need to look for a cheaper trip, I needed to take a step of faith, send in my application and let the God of the universe show me how much bigger He is than $4300.

And so, I have taken that giant step of faith. I received my first donation check last night and cried over it as I thanked God for providing and being faithful even when I doubt. He's never, ever even come close to failing me, so why do I still doubt? It's something I'm definitely frustrated with myself about, but also something I am learning to give over to my Father. There have been so many instances of confirmation this past week and from the time I submitted my application, I have felt a deep peace that I am doing God's will.

In the past, I always thought that I would get married and THEN go to Africa to do missions. I still pray that I marry a man who shares my passion for missions and I still feel confident that I will get to serve with him on the mission field at some point. But I'm not putting my life on hold, waiting around for that to happen. I'm going! One of the most exciting aspects of this trip is that I am going by myself! I do not know one person on my team, and that's ok. Because I am not truly going alone, my First Love is taking this trip with me and is making all the arrangements for us to go. My prayer this past year has been that God would be my everything. That He would fill every desire and truly satisfy me so that I do not need a man in my life. My prayer is that I would know, feel and experience that HE is Enough. I desire to come to a place where I am still satisfied and fully content if I never have another boyfriend, never marry and never have children. I definitely desire these blessings, but more than that, I desire my Creator. Please pray with me as I prepare and go on this journey, that I would know that He is Enough.

I promise not all of my blogs about Africa will be this lengthy! If you've stuck with me to this point, please continue to pray for this adventure. Pray for God to protect me mentally, emotionally, spiritually & physically from Satan's lies, discouragement and attacks. I could not do this without the love, prayers and support of my family, friends & church family. So thank you and I love you!

Shannon is Going to Africa!

I wanted all of my friends and family to know that God has called me to serve in Africa this summer! I am so excited about this calling and all God is going to do in and around me. I was introduced to Family Legacy Camp Life which helps to organize weekly summer camps for orphans in Zambia. You can read mo...re about Camp LIFE at http://www.legacymissions.org/camp-life/. I will be gone a total of 10 days from June 3-June 13. I am asking everyone that is willing to join me in praying over this opportunity. I will be updating my blog with news about Africa periodically so that everyone interested can keep up with my progress. My first post about Africa will be the background story of my calling and passion for Africa...stay tuned, coming soon. :)

A few specific prayer requests:
*That God would prepare me for what He has planned next.
*That God would already be working in the lives of the orphans, staff, translators and volunteers that will be involved in Camp LIFE.
*That God would provide financially to get me to Zambia. The total trip of the cost is $4300. I know I do not have this money, but I am so excited to see how God blows me away with His provisions for this seemingly huge sum of money. It puts me at ease to know that God is much bigger than $4300!

I have 10 business days to send in my $1000 deposit. That means the deposit money is due Friday, February 5. The rest of the money is due by April 2.

As you pray, if you feel led to donate to this mission trip, you can do so in several ways...

You can visit the Family Legacy website at http://www.legacymissions.org/donate/ and donate funds now this trip (go the ‘Donate Now’ page, select ‘Sponsor a Short-term mission trip participant’ and type in my name).

If you would like to mail in your donation, please send it to:

Family Legacy Missions International
5005 W. Royal Lane, Suite 252
Irving, TX 75063

Please write my name on the check memo so that Family Legacy knows which missionary you are supporting.

To make a donation via phone, please call (972) 620-2020 ext. 141.

Family Legacy is a federally registered 501©3 tax-exempt public charity. All contributions are fully tax deductible to the maximum extent of the law.

Please do NOT feel like you have to donate money. All I really would ask for is your continued prayer and support. I have all the faith and confidence that God will provide for every need if it is His will for me to make this trip. I am truly blessed beyond measure with wonderful people in my life and I'm grateful for you all! Thank you in advance for your love, prayers & support! ♥

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." ~Isaiah 6:8

More than Enough

I love when God speaks truth in the morning to get you through your day! He is so faithful to answer when we call on Him.

This morning I read 1 John 4. I love reading about God's love in 1 John and how we are to imitate it. But the verse that really got a hold of me this morning was vs. 12:

No one has ever seen God but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

WOW! The fact that Sovereign God chooses to display His love through imperfect humans never ceases to amaze me. I realized this morning how complete I am...when my mom hugs me, God is in that hug. When my brother spends time with me, God is in that time. When my youngest brother makes me smile, God is in that smile. When a friend follows through for me, God is in that loyalty. He is everywhere and I have never felt so complete! It's not a boyfriend, engagement ring, wedding, husband, children, huge family or tons of friends that make me complete. I am already complete. If God chooses to bless me with a husband, children or more friends and a bigger family, it will not be the people themselves that complete me, but God's love through them that brings greater satisfaction to the fulfillment that I have already obtained. That's huge!

We have all we need in our all-sufficient Father God. He will not withhold His best, and so I can trust that He is enough without all the other stuff. In Christ we find acceptance, security, adequacy, love, freedom, value, competency, protection, endowment of His Spirit, provision, knowledge, understanding and His divine, holy, all-knowing, all-capable power that fills every need and makes HIM more than enough.



Side Note: I just finished reading i am not, but i know I AM, by Louie Giglio. Tremendous book and I highly recommend it!

Welcome Home

The new year is of course a time of reflection from the past year as well as a time for resolutions to be made for the coming year. What a year it has been... 2009 started out the way I thought I wanted it to, and brought unexpected, deep heartbreak instead of the happily ever after I was expecting. 3 years of ignored heart issues came to service and demanded to be dealt with. I am indebted to my wonderful, godly counselors who helped me unpack years of pain and issues that I had been denying. The wounds are still healing, but I can't say thank you to God enough for turning my world upside down, turning my heart inside out and shedding the light of His truth on the lies Satan had trapped me in. In 2009, this insecure, hurting girl found her worth, confidence, self-value, fulfillment, satisfaction & deepest desires in a Heavenly Father. And none of that has anything to do with me, but everything to do with my gracious, merciful, loving Father God.

The day after Christmas, our family traveled to Richardson to visit my Aunt and her sweet, new hubby. They live in an adorable house that they are in the process of remodeling one room at a time. The kitchen looks fantastic! As we took the grand tour around the house and listened to plans for future remodeling, my aunt made the statement, "we're not going anywhere. This is it. Might as well make it home!"

My prayer for 2010 is that God would continue to make my heart His home. It's not going anywhere. I pray that He would move in, remodel and make Himself a permanent home that He will find joy and delight in; a heart that reflects His very own.

I'm leaving the bad of 2009 behind and only taking the good with me into 2010. The year has started out quiet, and I have no idea what it holds. With graduation FAST approaching, I'm expecting a lot of change - and I am not the biggest fan of change! It's a huge comfort to know that the truths revealed to me this past year will not change and that I can take them with me wherever I go.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. The Lord works everything for His own ends...In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps. ~Proverbs 16:3-4, 9

LOVE this song:
Welcome Home - Shaun Groves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRMyAPW0bDg