You Are God Alone

The question I've been convicted by for the past few weeks seems to be popping up in every study I'm doing, every quiet time, and every sermon I hear: Do I love God for who He is or for what He can do for me? The answer to this question is one I've been examining in my own heart and mind for a while. The end of last year brought with it some let down and disappointments, but also revealed the state of my heart and revealed where I needed to let God do some major refinement. It's no secret, I want to get married and have a family! I want to serve on the mission field! And lately, I've been thinking I might even want to go to grad school! I expressed to my mentor and dear friend last week that none of these desires in and of themselves are bad desires at all. I was created to have desires, but what do I do with desires that aren't being fulfilled? What I had been doing - trying to fulfill them myself! - was NOT working. Her sweet and gentle response to me was "Lay it down. Everyday, lay those desires at God's feet and give them back to Him." And so in 2011, that is what I've been attempting to do. Our God is so gracious and good. As a result of giving my God-given desires back to the One who can fulfill them, He has chosen instead to bless me in other ways. I may not have a boyfriend, but I am blessed with so many sisters in Christ that God is using to bring joy and encouragement and laughter to my heart. They make the journey so much sweeter. I have been blessed by God's plans to send me back to Africa. I pray that He would be properly exalted, proclaimed and glorified in Zambia. I have been blessed with an amazing family that I love and treasure. I am blessed to work with so many various ministries at my church leading worship in the praise band, teaching precious 7th grade girls each Sunday, helping with other events at my church as well as participating in Disciple Now Weekends at other churches. God knows what I need, and I pray that my heart loves God for who He is and not for what He can do for me. I pray I would be like the man in Matthew 13:44 who when He found the Kingdom of God, "hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." I pray that in reckless abandonment for the One who fulfills and satisfies not with earthly things, but by who HE IS, that I would be willing to give up everything for more of Him.