Africa Is Where My Heart Is

Ok, as promised, here is the background story to my calling to Africa! Sorry it's so long!

This story actually starts in 1994 when I was 8 years old! After my family moved back home to Fort Worth from Overton, Nevada where my dad had been a pastor for 6 years, the first organization I got involved with at our new church, North Fort Worth Baptist, was Girls in Action (GA's). Each summer, the GA's attend a summer camp at Riverbend Retreat Center. My first GA camp was life changing. It was where I came to know Christ as my personal Lord and Savior, and also where I developed a passion for Africa, specifically the country of Kenya. Our missionaries at GA camp were from Kenya. They told us their stories, what God was doing, showed us artifacts from the country and even taught us some words and songs in the Swahili language that I STILL remember! I remember I could not wait for the next GA camp so I could hear more missionary stories. The missionaries the next summer were from China. While I was still interested because of my passion for missions, I was not as captivated by this country as I had been with Kenya.

From that time on, Africa has been in my heart and a constant influence in my life. In high school, a few friends of mine were able to go on mission trips to Africa and I remember not being exactly jealous, but definitely wishing that I could go. In my second year of college, my mom and I attended the Women of Faith conference in Oklahoma City. World Vision was a sponsor and of course, a video of Africa was shown as they asked for volunteers to donate and get involved. The video pricked something in my heart and brought me to tears. The tears continued as we drove back to the hotel that night. I told my mom that I knew God wanted me to go to Africa, but that I was scared. My fear caused me to push Africa to the back of my mind.

2 years ago, my brother Matthew, you guessed it, went to Africa! While I was so excited for him and supportive of God calling him to go...I wanted to go!!! Matthew brought us all gifts back from Africa, but my gift could not have been more perfect. At GA camp 14 years earlier, one of the missionaries had brought tire shoes for us to look at and explained how these flip flops were literally made out of old rubber tires. I knew that if I ever went to Africa, I wanted a pair of these fascinating shoes! Fast forward to 2 years ago when Matthew came home from Niger with gifts...I had never told him of how I wanted tire flips flops, but guess what he brought home for me!!! I was floored and could not wipe the smile off my face as I told him how much I had wanted tire shoes from Africa. Passions were stirred and Africa has been heavy on my mind for the past 2 years. I knew I was going to get my chance, I just had to wait for God's timing and provision.

It's time!!! Everyday, God unfolds a little bit more of how He has been working to prepare me, and orchestrate my first trip to Africa this summer - and He did it all without my help or knowledge of what He was doing!! This time last year, I did not know that I was coming to the end of a long line of bad decisions, bad dating habits/choices and the start of a lot of brokenness and God putting me back together. This time last year, I had NO idea that the dream of going to Africa was so close to becoming a reality. As I've mentioned in several blog posts, God used 2009 to turn me inside out, clean out the junk in my life, and restore what was broken in me. He is so good and faithful to take care of His own! I know now that He was and is preparing me for this trip. My heart was not in any shape to serve Him and others in a foreign country, and my Father certainly knows that better than I do. I still have a long way to go and I'm so glad that He is never finished with us.

Over the course of refining me this past year, God has blessed me with 3 very godly wise ladies to provide wise counsel and godly encouragement in my life. In December, I transitioned to start meeting with Jessica in order to provide continued counsel and encouragement. I thought that I was good to go and really did not see myself meeting with her that often, if at all. But God had a bigger plan. God had been making Africa HEAVY on my mind through December, and now into January, and I knew I was supposed to go THIS summer. But how, where and with who??? I did not have answers to any of these questions, I just knew I was going! As I tried to answer these questions for myself, the Lord kept whispering, "talk to Jessica...." Around the 2nd week of January, I shared with Jessica my calling. Her first words were, "look up Family Legacy!" Jessica had served with FLMI in Lusaka, Zambia the summer after her college graduation and could not say enough good things about the experience. She gave me the website and I went straight home to look it up and actually started filling out the application the next day! However, the filling out of the application came to a screeching halt when I saw the price tag...yikes! I did not have $4300! I planned to graduate in May and wanted to start my career job this summer. My mind raced, "What if, in this economy, my new job wasn't willing to wait for my to get back from Africa and chose to hire someone that would start immediately after graduation? What if I couldn't raise the money? What if it wasn't God's will and I made all of it up in my head because I wanted to go? What if I get on the plane and terrorists take over or we crash???" Suddenly all the worldly details were very overwhelming and discouraging. I still wanted to go, but just did not see how it was going to happen.

I started researching other less expensive options and looked up multiple churches and organizations who were also going to various places in Africa this summer. None of them excited me the way going to Zambia with FLMI had. I wasn't called to go on other trips, I was called to go to Zambia. Every time I thought about Africa and tried to figure out on my own, the whisper was there, "wait, and talk to Jessica." Of course Jessica had felt the same way and done exactly what I did when she saw the price tag to go with FLMI to Zambia. She then told me her incredible story, which ends in God providing ALL the funds in THREE days! I left feeling encouraged, hopeful, and knowing more than ever that I did not need to look for a cheaper trip, I needed to take a step of faith, send in my application and let the God of the universe show me how much bigger He is than $4300.

And so, I have taken that giant step of faith. I received my first donation check last night and cried over it as I thanked God for providing and being faithful even when I doubt. He's never, ever even come close to failing me, so why do I still doubt? It's something I'm definitely frustrated with myself about, but also something I am learning to give over to my Father. There have been so many instances of confirmation this past week and from the time I submitted my application, I have felt a deep peace that I am doing God's will.

In the past, I always thought that I would get married and THEN go to Africa to do missions. I still pray that I marry a man who shares my passion for missions and I still feel confident that I will get to serve with him on the mission field at some point. But I'm not putting my life on hold, waiting around for that to happen. I'm going! One of the most exciting aspects of this trip is that I am going by myself! I do not know one person on my team, and that's ok. Because I am not truly going alone, my First Love is taking this trip with me and is making all the arrangements for us to go. My prayer this past year has been that God would be my everything. That He would fill every desire and truly satisfy me so that I do not need a man in my life. My prayer is that I would know, feel and experience that HE is Enough. I desire to come to a place where I am still satisfied and fully content if I never have another boyfriend, never marry and never have children. I definitely desire these blessings, but more than that, I desire my Creator. Please pray with me as I prepare and go on this journey, that I would know that He is Enough.

I promise not all of my blogs about Africa will be this lengthy! If you've stuck with me to this point, please continue to pray for this adventure. Pray for God to protect me mentally, emotionally, spiritually & physically from Satan's lies, discouragement and attacks. I could not do this without the love, prayers and support of my family, friends & church family. So thank you and I love you!