Now Selling on Etsy!

 

 So excited to announce that Ben and I are selling antiques and crafts on Etsy!! We just opened up the shop a few days ago and I still need to add a ton more inventory. We went to Waxahachie yesterday and found so much cool stuff to sell! Like these fun candlestick holders, for example:

Hope you'll read how we got started below and add us as a favorite on Etsy! http://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyFindersKeepers 

Our Story: 
Finder's Keepers Crafts &Antiques is owned and operated by newlyweds, Ben and Shannon Gibson. We did not have a lot of money when we first started dating, so many of our dates and outings were trips to antique stores to look around and lose track of time finding antiques that we loved or remembered from our grandparent's houses. We found that we really loved the mid-century modern style. As our parents and grandparents saw our love for antiques evolving, they began to share items they had held onto with us. Many of these vintage gifts are featured in our home today, like Shannon's vintage Pyrex bowls from her Grandmama.

We began to accumulate so many antiques that we sought permission to sell some of the items. This income allowed us to go to flea markets and pick more items that we could sell. The jackpot came when one of our neighbor's gave us permission to take all the old doors, windows and hardware from his 1925 house that was about to be demolished. Once we had a large enough inventory, we established Finder's Keepers Crafts & Antiques and have loved selling. Shannon has been able to create handmade dog beds from some our vintage suitcases, as well as other crafts that have been fun to make and sell.

Established in 2012, Finder's Keepers Crafts & Antiques sells quality vintage antiques as well as many handmade crafts. Find us on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/FindersKeepersCraftsAntiques

Peace

The last week of June 2013 is not something I will remember fondly. Lots of struggles and obstacles for our family that have made the road rocky. Today, God has been convicting me to give it all up in exchange for His peace. Sounds like a pretty good deal...so why can't I do it? Letting go has never been easy for me. I like to be in control (even when I'm not). I went on a drive earlier to clear my head, and while I was out I decided to drive by my childhood house as well as the house my grandparent's used to live in - they are only a short block from each other. When I got to my grandparent's house, a shock of emotions I was not expecting stirred within me. I missed this place! Memories flooded my brain, even though the house looks very different from when they lived there. But some things were exactly as my grandparents left them, exactly as I remembered them. That big wooden front door. A door that was so big and sturdy that as a child it hurt my hand to knock on it, but on the other side of it, I knew love and affection waited for me, so instead of being daunting, this door represented hope. I started to imagine the scene I would walk into if my grandparents still lived there. They would have already eaten lunch (at 11 am :)) and would be resting in their chairs for after lunch nap/tv time. Shortly after that granddaddy would go to his workshop to work on a project, or tend to the yard. Grandmama would begin preparations for dinner, or would go to the living room to read her favorite Louis Lamour book. Matthew, Jonathan and I would go play outside or take over the den tv to watch classic 1990's Nickelodeon (THE BEST). I know every inch of that house. I love that house. And I wanted to be back in it, worry and stress free, surrounded by the familiar. As I drove off, I couldn't shake the urge to go knock on the door and ask the current owner if I could just come inside for a second. Or sit on the front step and let nostalgia carry me away.... I realized that the inside of that house would look nothing like I remembered it and would probably be a disappointment. So why did I long to be there so bad? It was familiar to me, it held wonderful memories for me...but more than that, it represented peace to me. Peace. Ohhhh. The very thing God was convicting me that HE could provide for me. But instead of allowing Him to do that, I was fleeing to a past memory that had brought me peace. One that didn't exist anymore. It was then I realized that my subconscious had been driving my car, not me...that's not safe. My patient Father God then explained to me in His always gentle way, "Shannon, My courts should be so familiar to you that when you enter them you already know the scene that will be playing out. You know that you will see Me seated on My throne, and that you can come in and rest and find peace in my presence as you gaze up at me with eyes I created. You should be so familiar with my love for you that you recognize the soft feel of my big lap as you curl up in it, and immediately relax under My gentle touch as I rub your back and comfort you." Tears. Yes, Father, THAT is the peace that I so often neglect as I blindly stumble around trying to find peace in this world. God is Enough for me. I know this. As I remembered that He is bigger than all these obstacles, I realized how hard the enemy must be battling to make me think that I need to seek something other than my Big, Capable, God. I write this and share this because while your version of striving to find peace might look different than mine, we all do it. Other ways I try to find peace are through my favorite ice cream (or anything sweet, let's be honest here), escaping through a movie (romantic comedy? yes please.), going on a shopping spree (my bank account hates it when I do this), begging my absolutely amazing husband to let us pack up and leave town (escapism at it's finest!), or in very desperate times, going to the gym (I do this when I'm not trying to flee too...sometimes ;)). Why do we do this? The enemy lies to us. he tells us that God isn't big enough. That we've read all the scripture and couldn't possibly find anything comforting in it's Words today. That all that praying probably isn't doing anything, so just give up. Do what feels good, do what's easy, do what's comfortable. Ugh. I hate him. True Peace is a choice. Sometimes it's hard, and it takes effort and work on our part to dig through all the muck of this world in order to see the familiar Light of our Father God smiling back at us. But He is worth it. And He is the only One who can satisfy. Nothing else will do. Nothing. Choose God's peace and let His river of Peace flood your soul. No matter what events occur, or news I receive, God's Peace is big Enough to wash out all my anxiety, fear and worry. Every. Single. Time.

"I will find my rest in God alone. He is the One who gives me hope. He alone is my rock. He is the One who saves me. He is like a fort to me. I will always be secure. I depend on God to save me and to honor me. He is my mighty rock. He is my place of safety." ~Psalm 62:5-7

The Least of These

God has been working something out in my heart the past few months, so I decided it was time to blog/process my heart. I hope you'll follow me on this journey! If you've got your Bible handy, turn with me to the 31st verse of 25th chapter of Matthew... ;) About a month ago, I started working at Cornerstone Assistance Network, still case managing homeless participants. This is a strongly faith based organization, which I absolutely adore. In my interview with my supervisor, she verbalized a question that had been on my heart for the past few months..."Who are 'the least of these' that Jesus refers to in Matthew 25?"

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

In my life, "the least of these" has typically fallen into two categories: the homeless/hungry, or orphans/widows. Afterall, in Matthew 25:35 Jesus says,

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’"

Yep, sounds like a homeless or impoverished soul to me...I volunteer with the homeless and work with them in my day to day job, so we're good there, whew! And in James 1:27 we learn that

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Yep, orphans...widows...I volunteer at Gladney Center for Adoption, have traveled to Zambia, Africa twice to minister to orphans, and my husband and I financially support 3 orphans overseas...check! And that's when conviction set in...I got comfortable with my definition of who "the least of these" must be, and Jesus gently asked, "are you sure that's it...?" In my transition between working at Catholic Charities and Cornerstone, I was blessed to work at a private practice psychiatrist office. This experience allowed me to branch out of working with those below the poverty line, and to work in an office where most of the clientele was very affluent, and way above the poverty line. What did my clients at Catholic Charities, and the clients at this private practice have in common? Their pain. Brokenness. Emptiness. Hurts. The need for a Savior. It turned out that one of the only differences between these two types of clients was their bank account. God keeps using Jesus's encounter with Zacchaeus to teach me powerful life lessons:

"Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy" (Luke 19:1-2).

*light bulb moment* Zacchaeus definitely did not fall into the category of homeless, hungry or orphaned...but Jesus took time to "seek and save [this] lost" man (Luke 19:10). So. Who are the least of these? Matthew 9:12 confirms that my definition did not match up to Jesus's and was not near broad enough:

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

In my three years as a social worker, I have encountered many clients who knew Jesus as their Savior, they were just down on their luck and needed help getting back on their feet again (idea for future post: be humbled, this could happen to ANY of us!). And in my years on this earth, I have encountered many who had all of their physical needs met, but did not have the hope of The Savior. My mantra has become, "I live to bring Jesus's hope to the hopeless." Thank you Jesus for sharing your vision with me; for showing me that anyone who does not know and love You is among the hopeless. The least of these is not limited to the poor - the least of these are those souls that do not yet know You; poor, wealthy, or otherwise. Let me be faithful in loving ALL the least of these, and in pointing them to Your eternal hope. My favorite song right now is called "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline. A profound line from the song that is constantly on my heart says, "If not us, who will be like Jesus to the least of these?"

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." (Isaiah 61:1)

Restored

Happy New Year 2013! Ben and I just returned from a wonderful trip to Arizona where we spent a few day's at my father in law's new house in Tuscon, and then traveled North to the Grand Canyon. It turned out this time with the Creator and with my new husband was exactly what I needed for some renewal and restoration. This was my 5th trip to the Grand Canyon, but my last trip there was about 10 years ago. As I drove higher and higher into the mountains across Arizona, I held my breath as one magnificent view after another unfolded before me. The beauty of the snow covered mountains, tall pine trees and untouched, uninhabited creation made me feel like I was soaring as my heart filled with joy over God's perfect work. I praised Him in my heart, and we hadn't even arrived to our destination yet! Once at the Grand Canyon, we discovered that the entire National Park was blanketed by perfect, glittering white snow! I had never seen the Canyon dusted with snow like it was. Ben and I spent all of New Year's Eve walking around different parts of the park taking in the artwork of our God. My eyes couldn't seem to focus as I tried to take in what I was looking at. As my mom so profoundly put it, "God's beauty is more than the human eye can take in." It seemed we would walk just a few feet around the Canyon and the perspective and beauty was completely new.

God used our visit to show me how petty and insignificant my worries and stresses are compared to the bigness and greatness of our God. I don't want to get so wrapped up in myself that I miss Him! I read the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19 this morning and was able to relate.

"And he was seeking to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was small of stature (vs 3)."

Now, take out the word "crowd" and replace it with "work, finances, school, relationships, co-dependency, television, holidays..." and you have a pretty accurate description of how I’ve been living the past few months. All of these things, and I’m sure more, had blocked my view of Jesus – not just what I need from Him, but His character…who HE is. My encounter with Him at the Grand Canyon only confirmed how small I am, but reminded of how Big He is.

"So [Zacchaeus] hurried down and received [Jesus] joyfully (vs 6)."

Jesus encounters bring JOY!!! It's so easy to lose perspective in a world that is constantly trying to steal your Joy. In an effort to keep my renewed Joy, I've resolved to spend more time outside with God soaking up how Big He is. The Grand Canyon reminded me that life is so much bigger than the little things I get so stressed about and I want to take the time to enJOY God's creation on a more regular basis. I'm so thankful for the gift of God's restoration: "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit" (Psalm 51:12). I'm thankful that God reminded me how small my worries are compared to His eternal work: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us" (Romans 8:18). And I'm thankful that God reminded me of the reason I live - not to work and have no hope in my days, but to bring glory to Him and to show others how Big my God is compared to our earthly struggles: "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To Him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen" (1 Peter 4:10-11). Here's to soaking up more of our BIG God in 2013!

Our Engagement Story!

The moment was a wonderfully unexpected whirlwind, so Ben and I typed this story of our engagement up after he proposed so we would not forget all the amazing details to our story. Enjoy!

Our Engagement August 18, 2012 4:30 pm Atlanta State Park We are in New Boston, TX this weekend spending time with Grandmom and Granddad. Ben and I have been planning our wedding for the past month, but I had no idea when he would propose. Ben and Granddad golfed this morning (Ben won with a score of 89) and I spent time with Grandmom at the house talking and cooking lunch. When Ben and Granddad got home, we ate lunch and everyone laid down for nap time. I had slept really great the night before and used the quiet time to read my Bible and read over old Journal entries dating back to November of 2010. The entries spoke of the heartache of loneliness and disappointment of that season in life that I remembered clearly. As I read through the pages, they introduced Ben, our meeting in Zambia, Africa and how we knew within the first month of dating that God had made us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. I remembered how God and I had worked so hard to change my heart so that He was my first Love and the only One who satisfied my heart. To this day I am conscious to worship the Creator and not the created. While I love Ben more than I knew was possible, He can never fill the place in my heart that belongs to God to satisfy. I’m so thankful for a spiritual leader that encourages me to prioritize my relationship with God before my relationship with him. What an answer to prayer! After this wonderful quiet time, Ben asked if I would like to go for a drive. We love the beauty of the trees and scenery in East Texas. My response was, “Sure, can I go in my sweatpants?” I had no clue! Thankfully, he convinced me to put jeans on instead (I thanked him profusely for this after he had proposed). Grandmom and Granddad were still napping, so we left the house quietly. As we drove, Ben subtly mentioned that he thought there was a nearby lake. I confirmed how much I loved lakes and he said we would go find it. It was a beautiful drive. It’s been stormy all weekend, so there was a nice cloud cover, which in Texas is refreshing after a brutally hot summer. We drove around Wright Patman Lake and Ben told me stories of how he had grown up coming to this lake when he would visit Grandmom and Granddad. We pulled into Atlanta State Park. The park ranger, Jan, came out and when she found out that we had never been to that state park before, she gave us a free entrance pass to drive and look around it. Ben drove us over to Knight’s Bluff which was absolutely breathtaking with tall East Texas pine trees, an amazing lake view and perfect clouds. The air coming off the lake was cool, crisp and felt wonderful. Ben had brought his backpack and paused at the car to get something out of it. He told me he had brought his camera and was getting it out to take pictures of the lake. As we walked down to the lake, Ben put his arm around me and we walked side by side taking in the magnificent beauty ahead of us. We walked around for a bit and sat down on a boat dock to take some pictures of the scenery, including an old dock next to us. Ben asked me if I’d like to take a walk out onto the other dock which went further over the water. At first I hesitated because it looked so old, and possibly unstable, and the lake was very full from recent rainfall which made the choppy waves come up fairly high. After a little conversation, Ben said he’d hold my hand and we’d go together. We walked hand in hand towards the end of the dock and stopped at the end. We looked back at the shore and at how far out onto the water we had walked. Ben said, “Now that wasn’t so bad was it?” My reply was, “It’s fine now that we’re out further than most of the waves.” We stood together holding each other and then Ben reached in his pocket. He pulled out a ring box and asked, “Do you want to see what’s in here?” Immediately my heart started racing and I could not help the enormous smile that would plaster my face for the rest of the day. I enthusiastically declared, “Yes!” He then asked, “Do you want to marry me?” Again, an ecstatic, “Yes!” With a huge smile that matched mine he then said, “Ok well I’m supposed to get down on one knee…” As he knelt to one knee and took my hands, Ben asked me if I would marry him. Again, the only word my shocked brain could exclaim was, “YES!” I leaned down to kiss him and he stood and picked me up while we kissed and celebrated. He asked if I wanted to see my ring and told me there were multiple rings, but that he would explain why. And of course all I could respond with was, “Yes!” Ben waited until we got back to the shore to show me the rings. Before we left the dock, he pointed out the journey we had made together to walk out to that point over the water. He said that we would always walk through life together no matter if the waters were calm or choppy like the ones we had walked over. He said that no matter what goes on around us that it would always be us together. I finished his sentence with, “forever” and he said “yes.” Once we were on land again, we sat back down on the boat dock and he pulled out my rings. The first ring held 5 crystal clear diamonds on a white gold band; this was Ben’s Nanas ring. The second one was his mom’s ring. Ben said that he wanted both sides of his family represented in my ring since he was the only male Gibson in the family to carry on the family name. He let me know that the main diamond in his mom’s ring belonged to his Granddad’s mom on his dad’s side of the family. Ben is going to have the center diamond in Nana’s ring removed so that he can replace it with his great grandmother’s diamond. I love that he has taken such thought and care in designing my engagement ring and I feel honored to wear such a special ring that represents his family, and my future family. As we sat on the boat dock, Ben looked out at the water and said, “Wow, look at those birds.” I teared up and could not believe what I was seeing. Since I was in the 7th grade, God has used a unique type of white birds to fly by in moments where I’ve needed to feel His presence and peace with me. He used these exact birds to fly over the water by us to show us that He was there with us. I will cherish that forever; it means so much to me. Ben told me later that he wanted us to get engaged out in nature where we were secluded and could just share the moment with each other and with God. He did not know that was my dream proposal too, and it could not have been a more beautiful or sweeter proposal. God was there with us, and I’ve felt His smiling and rejoicing over us all day. It blesses my heart to know that we serve a God who so rejoices in His children and blesses them with rich gifts beyond our understanding! We praise God for the many details He has been in throughout our relationship, and especially in our proposal and wedding plans. It began to rain on us so we hurried back to the car. Once in the car, we each prayed over one another thanking God for His tremendous blessings, and dedicating our lives together for His glory. To God be the glory, GREAT things He has done!

We're Having a Yard Sale!

So far Ben and I are having great success selling the Antique doors and windows we salvaged from an old 1915 house in Fort Worth last weekend. We're having a yard sale this weekend to sell the rest! And some other cool items we've collected :) Tell your friends! Hope to see you!

Yard Sale! Friday, 4PM-8PM; Saturday-Sunday 8AM-4PM 3417 W. 5th St Fort Worth, TX 76107 Antique Doors & Windows from a 1915 Fort Worth house. Original wood, hinges, some original door handles, windows all original glass and all window panes intact. Stereo Speakers, laptops, framed art, vintage Pyrex, records, books, t-shirts & more... Find garage sales in fort-worth on Yard Sale Search

wherever He leads, i'll go

Well the guys (Ben, Matthew & Jonathan) are working on cars outside and I am stuck inside sick with what I'm hoping is not turning into bronchitis. Figure this is prime blog update time.

For the past 2 years around this time, I have been blogging Africa updates for all my friends & family supporters. This year, however, the Lord has not called me to Africa for Camp LIFE 2012. This is not the calling I was hoping for, but it came so clearly that I could not ignore it. Ben's sister, Katy, works for Family Legacy Missions who I have traveled to Zambia with for the past 2 years. This past fall, Ben and I attended a testimony time where Katy shared what great work this organization was doing and how we could support her. While listening to Katy's stories of how the orphans in Zambia had touched her life, I couldn't help but recall my own stories of these amazing orphans and the boys I've encountered in my Camp LIFE groups the past 2 years; specifically my sponsored child, Sweet Samuel - oh how I love him! While taking it all in, I cried out to God, "Father, can I please go back this summer?!" "NO." Clear as day. No more, no less...but a definite, "no." Tears filled my eyes and emotions overwhelmed me... "But, why not? Isn't it a good thing to go visit the orphans and widows? What will I do? God, why??" I excused myself to go to the bathroom and let the tears out as I processed God's answer. I knew that if I went to Zambia in 2012 it would be Shannon's will, not God's, and that is not an option. Besides my desire to be obedient to my Father, I know that there is no way I can accomplish a trip like that on my own.

Since that time, I've been praying for Zambia 2013. I am so excited to have Ben, dear friends and family members also praying about going to Zambia in 2013 too! I wait with great expectations of what God will provide; He never fails. While I'm still praying for local mission opportunities this summer, I have been unexpectedly, but completely BLESSED to support other friends who have been called to international missions this summer! It has been a humbling blessing to experience what it is like to be a part of a mission trip not by going myself, but by sending someone else. Supporting missionaries around the world is a crucial calling to all believers in order to further spread the glory of our God and make His name greatly known. Below is a list of missionaries that God has called to go overseas this summer. Please join me in praying for them and supporting them from home!

North Fort Worth Baptist Church - India - this trip already happened in February, but I pray that the seeds planted are being watered and growing.
North Fort Worth Baptist Church - Belize - specifically my baby brother, Jonathan! I'm SO proud of His obedience to follow God on his first foreign mission trip and I'm so excited to hear of the great things God will accomplish through this group. And I can't not mention my best friend Carly who is also following God in obedience to Belize...and hopefully back to Africa in 2013! After Belize, she will have officially been on a foreign mission trip with all the Ely kids ;)
Patty Gibson - Zambia, Africa - this is Ben's mom and I'm so thankful that she will be arranging for my sponsored child, Sam, and Ben's sponsored child, Solomon, to receive visits and gifts from us even though we can't deliver them ourselves. Patty is selling handmade baby onesies (newborn-24 months) to raise money to build a house for the orphans in Zambia! If you are interested in this ministry visit http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3709336770710.2174403.1194314221&type=3 "> or message me.
Katy Gibson - Zambia, Africa - As I mentioned earlier, Ben's sister works for Family Legacy Missions and needs daily prayer as she works so hard to raise self support so she can continue ministering to the orphans in Zambia throughout the year. To keep up with what the Lord is doing through Katy, you can follow her blog: http://www.chainsarebroken.blogspot.com/.
Ashley & Casey Roberts - Zambia, Africa - I LOVE this couple's passion for the orphans in Africa. Ashley also works full time for Family Legacy Missions and I admire her heart so much. What a sweet friend who I am truly blessed to know! They also have a blog you can check out: http://www.walkingbyfaithnotbysight.blogspot.com/.
Andrew Bradshaw - Nicaragua - It has been a blessing to see God move in this man's life! He is following God to serve at an orphanage in Nicaragua on his first mission trip as well this summer. If you feel led to support Andrew in his first mission trip, you can do so here: http://ebcgiv.convio.net/goto/andrewevans.

How's that for furthering the gospel around the world?!?! God is at work! Even if you can't physically go, please be a part of supporting missions through prayer, finances and encouraging those who are going.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)

2011 Recap

Since I was so bad about posting towards the end of last year, I wanted to do a fun post recapping 2011...

January - I was so blessed to be a part of FBC Hurst's Disciple Now Weekend and spend a few days with some wonderful 7th grade girls...and Edward ;)

February - Despite having a slight quarter life crisis, I had a great time celebrating my 25th birthday Austin style!

March - Had LOADS of fun with my new Nikon D3100 camera! This is one of my fav pics I took the first month having the new camera.

April - This was a great month! But if I had to pick one highlight, it's obviously Warrior Dash!

May - I got to spend some wonderful mother/daughter time in Glenrose at a Ladies Retreat.

June - Return to AFRICA and reunited with SAM!!!

July - First of many dates with Ben after we got back from Africa <3

August - Go Rangers!

September - My first trip to Fredericksburg and my first Schinken Schnitzel at a German restaurant

October - Kim and I went to the Zoo together for the first time since the 5th grade

November - The start of our first Holiday season together...2 Thanksgivings in one day, oh yes we did!

December - Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them

Not too shabby! Thankful for all this and more that happened in 2011 and excited for the adventures waiting in 2012. <3

Tragiphobia

Oh my poor neglected blog! I have wanted to be better about blogging this year and it's taken me until the end of January to actually sit down and write out a post. I do have plenty of thoughts and lessons to share! I literally have a sticky note of things I want to write about going back to the end of last summer! I'll slowly but surely get caught back up on here. For now, here is what I'm most recently learning...

Tragiphobia - Shannon's made up term for the fear of tragedy...

This past December, one of my former students from the youth Sunday School class that I taught passed away very unexpectedly and tragically. The event hit very close to home and I was shaken to the core. I felt like I had been living in a bubble where I sometimes was concerned that something could happen to a loved one, but most likely it would not. That bubble was burst. I felt naked, exposed and honestly, unprotected. My dad died very unexpectedly and tragically as well, so the pain of remembering this grief was overwhelming at times. Suddenly I didn't feel like my loved ones were safe anymore. It hurt to watch them walk out the front door and to think they might not come back. I started borrowing worry that conversations I had with them could be my last, that hugs I gave them could be final. In the weeks that followed, my cousin and her husband tragically lost their baby that we were expecting to welcome to the world this summer, friends of mine lost family members, and my Aunt Charlyne passed away in East Texas. Thoughts of how precious, but temporary, life is have been my constant companion, along with worry of losing people I consider irreplaceable in my life. I have not been living in peace. Sometimes when I blog I am able to write about trials I've been through and what I learned from them or how they were resolved. In this case, I am still very much wrestling with this trial and learning to trust God more in the process...it's not easy.

The TRUTH is that I have no fear of death because of the power of Christ in me (1 Corinthians 15:55). Jesus is Lord and King in the hearts of all my closest loved ones, and as Ben sweetly reminded me the other night, if something does happen, "I know where I'm going and I get you back." The TRUTH is also that this life is not really about me. I am here only to bring glory to the great I AM, whether in life or death (Exodus 3:13-15). The problem is, I've developed attachments to things [people] in this world. The TRUTH is furthermore that I cannot allow these things [people] to become idols in my heart (Exodus 20:3). If I exalt these relationships and love them more than God, then my heart is broken and needs to re-prioritize until it seeks and loves God first...and all these things will be added unto me (Matthew 6:33). I think more than anything, I'm afraid of the pain that I've experienced, remember, and know comes with the grief of losing someone you love. I wish I could never have to experience that kind of pain again. Sadly, it is part of this life. TRUTH tells me that God will never leave my side (Deuteronomy 31:6) and that I can put my faith and trust in Him as I daily die to self and give my loved ones and desires over to His capable, loving, good, and never failing hands. I read the following scripture tonight and it prompted this post. It's not easy to be this vulnerable or to share these deep, personal emotions, but I know that I'm not the only one who struggles with the fear of losing someone and so I pray that we can encourage each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows...Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for My sake will find it.
~Matthew 10:29-31, 37-39

Photo Book

I made my first Shutterfly book! This could get addicting :)

Click here to view this photo book larger

Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me

*If you're reading this post before you've read the previous post, stop and go back before reading this one so you can fully appreciate God's great work. :)

4 days before I prayed out in faith that God would provide for me someone to share my life with, I met Benjamin Gibson in Zambia, Africa half way around the world. 4 days after I spoke out my faith in God to provide as He saw was best, Ben walked me to my villa our last night in Zambia and asked me to have dinner with him when we returned to the States. Neither of us ever in our wildest dreams expected to meet someone while on our mission trip (let alone someone who just lived 45 minutes away!). I was there to focus on sharing God's love with my boys and the orphans in Zambia, while Ben was there to focus on his photography as he took pictures of the orphans and community for the organization that we traveled with. What a humbling blessing it has been to grow with Ben in our walks with God the past few months and to know that our being together is so much bigger than just us. Our lives are committed to bringing glory to God and we feel that He is accomplishing that by joining our lives together. My hope is that by sharing God's faithfulness in this relationship that it will encourage others and bring glory to our God as I share His extreme faithfulness in my life, even when I was lacking in faith.

Ben and I have been seeking a church home in Dallas where we can begin to grow & serve together. While sitting in service yesterday, we sang a chorus that boasted of God being our strong tower and defender. God sweetly reminded me that even though life is rapidly changing at the moment, He is still my Best Friend. He is still my familiar stronghold, the One that's known and loved me all my life (despite myself), and that He always has and will always be my King, First Love, Best Friend, Provider, Protector, Comforter and Defender. It brings joy to my heart to think of all my God and I have been through together, all we will go through and to know that He is my faithful, never-changing Constant in a world so full of changes. To God be the glory, GREAT things He has done.

"This God— His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." ~Psalm 18:30

Speaking Out in Faith

In the months leading up to traveling to Zambia, Satan had found a way to keep me depressed and in doubt of God's work in my life. Slowly but surely, what started out as a little discouragement at being single and unhappy with several situations in life grew into full on doubt that God was not going to provide a husband in my life.

I journaled on June 18, 3 days before I would leave for Zambia, that I was so depressed I didn't even want to go anymore. And that's when something snapped inside of me for the good - NOT want to go to Zambia and proclaim my Father's joy to the orphans? That wasn't ME talking, that was the enemy and I knew it all too well. That night, I repented of my lack of faith, my pride and self-pity and gave over all my desires to my Father. I asked him to strip away anything fleshly and selfish within me and allow me to join Him in what He was doing. I prayed that God would rid me of distractions and that I would not worry about being accepted by anyone but God Himself. I gave over my singleness to God and committed to be faithful to Him even if a life of singleness was what He had planned for me. I resolved myself to singleness that night and to a life married to my First Love and bringing glory to Him, and it was well with my soul.

The first day at camp, we were to teach the kids 3 things they needed to practice during the week to fight off Satan's lies as they learned truth.
1. Listen to the Word
2. Believe what the Word says
3. Speak out what you believe in faith
I was happy to teach my kids these 3 important tools for the spiritual battle they would face when the Holy Spirit pressed on me... Speak out YOUR faith. It was the first day of camp that as my boys were speaking out their faith in God that I finally spoke out loud my faith: God, you will provide a husband & children to share this life with. You will not only provide a husband, but a teammate that will bring You more glory by sharing his life with me than we ever could individually on our own. God restored my faith, healed my heart and set me FREE... and did not let my prayers or statement of faith in Him go unanswered.... :)

"If we are faithless,He remains faithful— for He cannot deny himself." ~2 Timothy 2:13

Zambia Journal Entry 6-27-11, Sunday

Sunday:
Church today was amazing. We went to the Boma at Mulungushi for worship and just as last year, there was lots of singing led by the Zambian worship team and dancing as they would pull people up front and into the isles to dance and sing. Pastor Teddy presented the sermon from Matthew 6:33, our verse for Camp this week. His question and method was simple, but profound… “Who is your King?” Father, you have convicted my heart before I left America and while in Zambia that my King is way too often myself. I am my own idol. I live for myself, not you. I rule my Kingdom. Greer pointed out that there are only 2 Kingdoms: Yours, and Satans. However Satan will deceive me into thinking that there is a third Kingdom that is mine, but this is not true. When I am ruling myself, I am really letting Satan rule over me. I still remember the message that was presented last year in Zambia out of Exodus 3 about Moses learning to let God speak through him and this year the message was just as powerful and something I will remember and put into practice all year.
After church we loaded the buses and went to Arcades for lunch. Christina, Carly and I ate at the same lunch place I went to on Sunday last year, Mimosa’s, with Baranda and Amber. The grilled cheese with ham & tomato was just as delicious and I was able to go to Spar and exchange some more money while we waited for our food. Shopping at the market was fun as always as we bargained and bartered. I bartered travel Kleenex, travel toilet paper, chapstick, a highlighter, pen and my watch. I tried to barter and explain what Wet Ones were but nobody would trade for the Wet Ones. Carly and Christina took me back to the bus before I could barter anything else. We’ve had some fun laughs about that. We squeezed in another video blog and then it was time to load the buses and head to the Go Centre to meet our Zambian partners. While we waited for the bus I was able to walk Christina and Carly down to my villa from last year and take a picture.

At the Go Centre, we ran through all the Camp songs and dances and then met our partners. My Evangelist is Ireen who is 19 and my Apostle is Felix who is 24. As we talked and got to know each other, we commented on how we felt the Holy Spirit uniting us together. After praying together for God’s glory throughout the week we went back in the Go Centre for a few more songs. Singing Freedom Song was so powerful and I was so full of joy as we danced and sang together freely in our God.

Journal Entry 6-26-11 *SAM!*

I got to see Sam today!!! He wasn't at the Community Resource Center when we arrived because he had gotten hungry for lunch. The anxiety of waiting for him to come back to the CRC made my heart race and the thought of being so close to reuniting with him made me want to burst into tears. It was finally decided that we would just meet Sam at his house. The first stop we made was the first time I had been inside a compound house and not just outside. It was smaller than I ever could have imagined. Literally a one room 4x4 room for an entire family. So humbling. Sam's house was the next stop. I stood up from my seat to put on my chitenge and I saw him walking down the street toward the bus...I could see him! We were finally in the same place at the same time after a year of missing him so much my heart would ache. I grabbed his gift and hurried off the bus. When I rounded the corner of the bus he was there and ran into my arms giving me the biggest hug his little arms could give. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I couldn't even speak. I laid my head on his as he buried his head in my chest and I choked back tears. I looked down at him hugging me and saw the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. After a long hug I was finally able to ask how he was and tell him that I had missed him as he said he missed me too. The world came back into focus and I remembered that there were other people in the world besides the 2 of us. I asked him if I could see where he lived and he grabbed my hand just as he did for an entire week last year and he led me to his house. I first met his grandparents who were in town visiting. I then met his youngest brother, cute Judge, his 2 sisters that are older and another younger brother. His mom arrived after several minutes of sitting and talking about his family, school, friends and futbol. His mom was so sweet and greeted me with a hug. His mom and grandparents both thanked me for helping Sam and their family. I then gave Sam his gifts. The first thing he opened was his new shirt that says, "Somebody in Texas Loves Me." I read him the shirt and explained that Texas is where I love and so the shirt means that I love him. The next thing he opened was a picture frame of me and my family on one side and me and Sam on the other. I wish I could have captured the expression of JOY on his face as he opened it. He beamed, smiled from ear to ear and even gasped a little withe excitement. And finally, he opened his Bible and I read him the inscription: To Samuel, From Auntie Shannon. He said he was very happy. I was able to pray for God's blessing over him and his family before I left. Sam joined us on the bus for the rest of the day and I loved being reminded of his little personality. He of course wanted to help carry in all the groceries, help people with their seats on the bus and help wherever he could. God has given him the gift of a servant's heart and reminded me all day that He has great plans and a great purpose for Sam's life. After visiting Simon and 3 other kids houses with gifts of tomatoes, onions, cabbage, mealie meal, eggs, dried fish, 3 kinds of meat, juice, sugar, salt and oil, we went back to the CRC where I spent time with Simon, Emmanuel and Samuel. Poor Eman was so hungry he ate uncooked popcorn kernels off the floor. Ben shared some crackers with my boys as a snack. When we were about to leave, Sam started to run off and I called him back to say goodbye to me. He ran into my arms as I picked him up and hugged him. I told him I had missed him and would see him Monday at camp. He then voluntarily gave Carly and Christina hugs and ran off. They both said to me, "I get it." I thank God for another year to be in Sam's life and see him in person. He is a blessing and I pray God speaks a message to him this week. The blessing of Sam in my life is more than I deserve.

Zambia Journal Entry 6-25-11

"For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely toward you." ~1 Corinthians 1:12

Father, thank you for bringing me to scripture on seeking you and not this earth. I pray that you would break me. Last year I was exposed to the poverty and needs in dark places of the world and within a year, my heart has hardened and become spoiled again. Soften my heart and convict me of what is true, what is needed and what is of eternal importance.

Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
Til it's You alone I live for

God, You are holy and so much bigger than I comprehend on a daily basis; let me glimpse You.

Zambia 2011 Slideshow

Fullness of Joy!

I have been TERRIBLE about blogging since I got back from Africa! I've got 2 entries from my journal while I was there that I'll work on posting soon, but for now I've just GOT to brag on all my amazing God is doing!

Reading over a few of my previous posts, I was in such a place of discouragement, frustration and was somewhat depressed before I left for Africa. I am happy to report that post Africa I feel nothing but joy and awe at how God is working! And not only in my life, but in the lives of literally everyone I talk to lately. God is working overtime and seems to be showing off and I'm loving every single second of it. The past few years have been a dark road where I could feel God holding my hand as we walked together, but I could not see at all where we were headed. This gets frustrating after a while, but God is so patient and faithful to those that keep their faith in Him, even when nothing seems to be going right and everything seems confusing. Obviously, part of faith is trusting our Lord even when we can't see what He's doing and trusting that He is actively working for good on our behalf and for His glory. But post Africa, God has begun to allow me to see His hand SO clearly at work. I'm not ready to share details of what I see God working on just yet, but it's very exciting and I'm continually thanking and praising my Father for His blessings and faithfulness even when I'm so undeserving. He is truly a GOOD Father and I'm delighting in how He works.

Now that I've updated on life post Africa, I promise to post on the actual trip to Africa SOON! :)

You make known to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
~Psalm 16:11

Spiritual Warfare

In the weeks before leaving for Africa last year, I experienced unexplained nightmares, fears, worries and anxiety. During this time I learned to cling to the Lord in a whole new way by falling asleep reading Psalms where David states "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety," (Psalm 4:8) and "I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me" (Psalm 3:5). It wasn't until I got to Zambia that I recognized these nightmares for what they were: spiritual attack. During my one on one time with the boys, nearly each boy reported terrible nightmares, nightmares about Satan and darkness that made my dreams all of the sudden not seem so bad. However, through my experiences with dreams, I was able to encourage the boys with scripture to pray before they fell asleep and equip them with the most powerful tool God had equipped me with during my night terrors: prayer in Jesus name. Before I would go to sleep, I would pray for God to protect my dreams from the enemy in Jesus name. I pray often for God to protect me mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, but it wasn't enough. I needed to pray for God to fight Satan in this spiritual battle while I slept. And the Lord is faithful to do so, He fights for me and is my Deliverer. My sleep became pleasant again (I had begun to dread going to sleep) and I saw the same result when my boys and I prayed for God to protect their dreams. Suddenly nightmares of the enemy chasing them in the form of a snake went away and they were allowed a dreamless nights sleep. Glory to God in the highest!!!

I had forgotten about the power of these attacks until this past week. The nightmares started again and this year, the anxious thoughts and worries while I'm trying to go to sleep are more intense than anything else. I dread closing my eyes in the silent darkness because the attacks begin. And they are draining. A friend pointed out to my mom that these are not American spiritual attacks, they are African spiritual attacks. I learned last year that spiritual warfare looks a lot different in Africa than it does in America and I've heard from other friends who have dealt with spiritual attacks specific to the countries they would be doing missions in. In Zambia, the attacks come in the form of nightmares about Satan and darkness and sometimes come in the form of demons that have to be called out. I had never dealt with spiritual attack in this capacity before going to Zambia last summer. Young children deal with depression (an attack that we are more familiar with in America, but probably more so as teens and adults). You can visibly see either darkness or light in the eyes of the children you encounter; many times a sign of the oppression, abuse or neglect they are suffering. It was a joy to witness so many of my boys, sweet Samuel included, come to camp that first day with complete hollowness and darkness in their eyes, but leave camp just 5 days later with hope and joy and light restored in their beautiful young eyes.

This year through the spiritual attacks, I'm realizing that my attacks (as difficult as they are) are only for a season. And when I wake up in the morning, I can't believe that I would stay up fretting over something that in the light of day seems so trivial and irrational. But for the kids in Zambia, and many around the globe, these attacks are a daily struggle and last much longer than a season. The fears of these children are actually their reality as they deal with poverty, rape, abuse, neglect, hunger and abandonment daily. The other thing God has revealed to me is that just because I don't feel the struggle of spiritual attack going on all the time, doesn't mean that He isn't actively fighting the battle for me all the time. The Bible is clear that “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). This realization came yesterday when despite not feeling very spiritually close to my Father as I desired, I continued to read my bible and sing praises to Him. As I sang and felt nothing about the words I was singing, I confessed to God how much I longed to feel Him near and to feel His love. And just as soon as I prayed that prayer, God answered it by placing His hand between me and the attacks so that instead of anxiety, worry and depression, all I experienced was resting in the Lord and enjoying being in love with Him. The sun had come out from behind the clouds, the waves that were rocking me stopped. I'm aware that at any moment God could lift His hand and allow me to experience more spiritual battle, but I thank Him for at least a little time of restoration so that I can stand strong once again against the enemies attacks. And I praise God for fighting these supernatural battles whether I'm tuned in to the spiritual warfare happening around me or not.

As I prepare for a second trip to Africa, I pray that God would use me as His vessel and use these trials to encourage the orphans I'll be with all week. I have no doubt that they are in this moment going through attacks similar to mine and I thank God that I already know how to specifically pray for them. And I can't wait to sit and listen to what they were going through during this time that I didn't know them, but I was praying...this experience last year was so cool and gave me goosebumps as I realized that the prayers the Holy Spirit had left on my heart for these kids I had never met were so exactly the prayers they needed at that exact time. How cool is that??? I pray that any children I meet with darkened, hardened, hollowed eyes will leave camp at the end of the week with bright, glowing, joyful eyes full of light and love as they learn that they are Royal Prince's and Princess' in God's Kingdom. And I pray that I and the group of kids I'll meet this year would resist the devil and stand strong against his attacks so that he will flee from us (James 4:7). Please join me in these prayers!

Out of My Element

"Christ has called us to thrive, not merely survive." ~Beth Moore

In turning 25 a few months ago, I was at first devastated... I had such high expectations for where I would find myself in life at this age, and while in my heart I had planned my path, the Lord determines my footsteps (Proverbs 16:9). It's devastating when you realize that your dreams and expectations are not your reality. I'm living a completely different life than I would have planned for myself which causes me to draw nearer to God and hold His hand as we walk through a period of darkness where I can't see what He's doing or how He's working, but I feel Him near and have faith that I'm not missing out, that He has intentionally brought me to this place and that He is actively protecting, preserving and preparing me for His plans and purposes for this life He created. My challenge so far at the age of 25: Don't just survive...Thrive! I wanted to share just a few of the adventures I've encountered the past few months (many that are SO out of my element!) and share with you new things that the next few months will bring that God has so graciously revealed to me recently.

February: To celebrate my 25th birthday, I spent a wonderful weekend in Austin with friends. We hiked, ate, enjoyed our favorite spots in Austin, ate some more, attended my favorite church in Austin, ate again and I finally saw the bats fly from congress bridge! Oh and did I mention that we ATE?? :)I've been attempting to see the bats fly for years, and I finally succeeded by taking a fun sunset cruise on Lady Bird Lake. Below is a pic of me with the bat bridge...I was pretty excited!

March: I've also taken up photography! For years I've wanted a nicer camera and for my birthday my loving family was able to make that dream come true. My newest hobby is losing complete track of time while walking around taking pictures with my Nikon D3100. I'm still learning Photoshop, but this has definitely been something new & challenging that I enjoy! Here's one of my fav pics I've been able to capture so far...

April: This is probably the MOST out of my element thing I've done! WARRIOR DASH! This is a 5K, but with 11 obstacles that you must complete along the way. Obstacles include wading through a cold river, climbing over junkyard cars, scaling walls, jumping over fire and crawling through mud to name a few. It was so much fun and I'm so glad I did it! This is a pic of me crossing the finish line in all my muddy glory!

May: I started working at Catholic Charities last June helping the newly homeless regain employment and housing through rapid rehousing. Through MUCH prayer, God has opened a new door and is allowing me to start a new position, still with Catholic Charities, working with the chronically homeless doing more intense case management. I am following God down this next path and excited to see what He has for me and why He's chosen to take me in this direction!

June: Probably the thing in my life that I am most THRILLED about is going back to Africa to be with the orphans. I left my heart there last summer and can't wait to be reunited with my passion, my heart and bringing God's glory to the impoverished, abandoned and neglected orphans of Zambia. The spiritual warfare as I prepare to go back has been INTENSE and seems to grow more and more intense by the day. Prayers are needed and appreciated! I've been writing letters to my sweet Samuel and have received some back from him letting me know that he can't wait to see me at camp and that he loves and misses me too. Oh how I cherish those letters. I never, ever anticipated falling so deeply in love with one of the most precious boys in the whole wide world. This is a picture he sent me of him at Christmas. He looks so much healthier, more filled out and HAPPY!!! Makes my heart do somersaults. :)

Even though life doesn't look exactly the way I thought it would, I am so blessed and I thank God for the work He's doing. I will continue to rest and delight myself in Him. He is teaching me so much of Himself and I pray that more than anything, this 25th year will bring me more passion for Him.

I Will Follow

Now the plans that I have made fail to compare when I see Your glory. Ruin my life the plans that I've made. Ruin desires for my own selfish gain. Destroy the idols that have taken your place, til it's You alone I live for.

~Jeff Johnson

I love this Jeff Johnson song and was so excited when the band started playing this song at our youth's dnow weekend recently. Except while singing the familiar words, the Holy Spirit starting pressing me...Do you really mean these words you're singing? You want me to RUIN your life? Because if that's so, then why aren't you letting go of your plans? I don't remember the words to the next song we sang, but it was along the same lines and this time the conviction was so heavy that I couldn't sing the words.

The next weekend, I woke up and was particularly excited about my time with the Lord this morning. It was the first chance that I'd had enough time to sit down and wrestle with my conviction with no distractions, no matter how long it took to work it out. God asked me 3 questions:

1. Why do you follow Me?
2. Why should you follow Me?
3. How have you been following Me?

6 journal pages later, I had answered God's questions to me and was left completely humbled by the state of my heart. God asked me to really think about the meaning of the word "follow". A word we use so often, especially in Christian circles, but I never really think about the weight or meaning of the word. The definition of follow is to go, proceed, or come after. And I realized, I'm not following God so much as I'm expecting Him to follow me. Yes, you heard that right. I've been expecting the great God of the universe, the God who parted the red sea, who spared Daniel in the lion's den, who crumbled the walls of Jericho, THIS God to follow my plans that I've made. This realization makes me sick. Just sick. There was MUCH repenting going on and thanks to God for revealing this sickness to me.

And now I'm praying for healing. So many times this past week I've started to take off full speed down a path that I think looks nice and God gently tugs at my heart and says "Wait. Are you following Me or wanting Me to follow you again? Wait." It warms my heart to think about what a good Father our God is. Oh how I love Him and oh how I'm thankful for His patience and gentleness with me. I'm so thankful He's asking me who's following who in those moments where I think I've found a good path to run down, and I'm thankful that He's allowed me to put on the brakes, stop and look back at my Father to see where He is leading. My paths are dark, frustrating, confusing and miserable. In God's presence, there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).